Friday, August 23, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - No Reason For Concern

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

The Most Interesting Feature of the New Surveillance System Being Tested by the Department of Homeland Security…



#5 Oppo: … is that it is being operated by two low-level employees, Clapper blatantly lied about it to Congress, and Obama and Holder won’t know anything about it unless they happen to read this IMAO thread.

#4 Bob B.: …is that the announced director of the program is Chelsea Manning.

#3 Jimmy:.…is that it automatically disavows any knowledge of its actions.

#2 walruskkkch:...it’s already demanding free healthcare, immediate citizenship and that the Government pay for it’s abortions.


And my favorite straight line of the day was from frogmouth:

The Most Interesting Feature of the New Surveillance System Being Tested by the Department of Homeland Security…if you like your current surveillance system, you can keep it.


Cookies to frogmouth!

and walruskkkch gets kiss up cookies for his line: 

The Most Interesting Feature of the New Surveillance System Being Tested by the Department of Homeland Security…it can also bake cookies! [but they're not as good as mine :)]


Kiss up cookies to walruskkkch!

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Go see the winners of Bored Fusion 7: What Do You Get... at You've Been Fused: 7



Then, don't forget to submit a title for Bored Fusion 8: What Do You Get? I love reading your ideas :)


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My favorite NP punchlines:



Desperate retailers begin Christmas sales in August. This year's hot sellers...

#3 Harvey :...Global Warming™ brand hockey sticks.

#2 Bob B. : ...Reggie Love's "Crisis Card Games", endorsed by President Obama.

My favorite line was from Bob in Feenicks:

Desperate retailers begin Christmas sales in August. This year's hot sellers...Arugula Patch Kids. If Obama had sons, these are what they would look like.

Kiss up cookies to HokieGomer: Desperate retailers begin Christmas sales in August. This year's hot sellers...Anonymiss No-Bake Cookies (available only until she get's her oven repaired)

Toffee Trifle to Bob in Feenicks
and HokieGomer!

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Here's a new line for you to try:



Ben Affleck is set to play Batman. The only worse choice...

11 comments:

  1. ...the guy who played Daredevil. -Wait a minute...

    ...Woody Allen.

    ...Rosie O'Donnell.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ... Barack Obama as the villain "Empty Suit" (visible behind Affleck in the picture), with his annoying catchphrase "let me be clear!"

    ReplyDelete
  3. The other Affleck...the duck.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ... was Anthony Weiner as the Groin Lantern.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ...would be...Oh forget it! There IS no worse choice. The only way this could be worse would be to give the Batsuit nipples. Again.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Capt Jack Sparrow (as Batman)

    Lady Gaga (as Robin)

    Carrot top (as himself)

    Rachel Maddow (as himself)




    ReplyDelete
  7. ...baseball commissioner Bud Selig, who makes all the villains pee in a bottle to test for PEDs.

    ...Andy Dick.

    ...Prince Charles, who looks more bat like without the costume.

    ...SarahK Fleming, because Batman doesn't carry concealed, guns or boobies.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Silent Bob from "MallRats"

    ReplyDelete