I Don't Have TIME to be a Democrat

I don't know about you guys, but geez...I've been watching my sister, Unny, and I just don't know how she does it! I could never have enough time to do all the things Obama has her doing. Just yesterday I watched her:

Obviously, sign up for ObamaCare. Or try. Yes, yes, she's been trying to do that everyday this week. It's a few hours a day on hold on the phone. But she's so excited to be part of his great social experiment that she does it first thing each morning and hangs on for hours until something goes wrong and she gets cut off.

She likes to watch the celebrity anti-gun violence video everyday. She says it's really inspiring to hear all those political experts explain exactly how it's our government's job to keep us all safe. She also loves learning how to think like a "really cool person".

She checks the pressure in her tires everyday. Wouldn't wanna burn superfluous fuel and singlehandedly cause global warming.

She made sure NOT to do anything CRAZY like go to an open air war memorial or try and see a national park. That would just be WRONG.

She drove by our local university and made sure that the protesters there knew they had her full support. I'm not sure she knew what they were protesting, exactly. But she made a few signs so they knew she wasn't one of those RACISTS.

Unnonymiss: Help Me Help Anony

Anonymiss is Sick

My sister doesn't understand how things work. She thinks that when unfortunate things occur, you should feel sad, try to fix it, and work through it.  What an unpleasant thought.  Who wants to be sad? Who wants to put forth effort when it's not even your fault? What an outdated attitude. She'd be so much happier if she just realized that all of her problems will be solved by the government.  Why fret about friends lost or jobs forgotten? Geez. She's clearly suffering from an acute case of Insufficient Dwarf Syndrome (IDS). She didn't cause it. She's obviously eligible for help from the compassionate arms of our caring government bureaucracy.

Unnonymiss: Break the Silence

GFPPT: SpeakEasy

Have you ever been in a situation where you just didn't know what to say? Do you remember the sinking, apprehensive feeling that came over you as you struggled to find words? Do you remember how powerless you felt? Did you know that the number one phobia here in the United States is the Fear of Public Speaking? Understandably so. It can be scary. An estimated 75% of people experience some degree of anxiety about speaking to a crowd. 75%. This is an epidemic.  People in this country just don't know what to say and it's making them sick. Do you know how damaging this can be to a person's self esteem?  It also leads to stress, nausea and even panic. Such feelings can contribute to avoidance of school and/or job situtions where speaking is required. Many never know what to say to the popular kids. How can they fit in? Those afflicted are not able to think AND speak simultaneously...so then they hem and haw and say stupid insensitive unfunny things. Then they are rejected.  They feel miserable and insecure. They cannot possibly be expected to reach their full potential in this debilitating state. But now there's hope - Government Funded Personal Portable Teleprompters.

This Blog Doesn't Need a Princess It Needs a NANNY: Nanny Unny.

My name is Unnonymiss.  You can call me Unny.  (Unny rhymes with honey, you know...the locally-raised free-range sustainable organic honey.  Not that other bad kind. By the way, no bees were harmed in the making of this nickname)

My spoiled sister, Anonymiss, was called away -- probably on some goody-goody "charity" mission to "help" the "poor". Right... as if that were an acceptable substitute for a caring, compassionate government program that provides good-paying jobs to AFSCME union members. Anyway. She left me in charge.

I'm actually a little surprised how much power you guys have given her around here. I hear she's judging? Seriously? What right does SHE have to judge? She bakes cookies. That's what she does. They're  not even union cookies...and she often even involves CHILD LABOR. This qualifies her to judge you...HOW?  She doesn't even care about you guys.  She's only acting on her own selfish interest. Every SINGLE time she judges you...some people lose. A LOT of people. Does she even care what that does to people? The only "Participation Cookies" she has awarded have been to Frank J.: A powerful special interest group in the top 1% of commenters. I believe EVERYONE should get their fair share.  Equality is so important.  She and her crony nuke-the-punchline-ism.