LIBERTY 101

Now that more and more people are realizing that freedom and liberty are the only true ways a nation can be run. I've found myself fielding questions about how we can question authority in an attempt to gain a little bit more liberty.

Well if you are one of these people, I've decided to make a list for you. This way when you are faced with a situation in which you want the free market to work for you, and you don't know how to make it happen.

#1 do not order chicken by the bucket.

For years I just went along with ordering chicken in an appropriately sized bucket relative to the amount of chicken I ordered. Not once did I ever question the fact that nearly every chicken restaurant sells its chicken In some sort of bucket. I refuse to allow myself get painted into a box, or circular drum in this case. From now on I will only buy chicken in a box or a bag, and with your help the market will correct itself.

Ok Here it is

Finally my thoughts on Carlos Danger.  I just want you to know I tried very hard (no pun intended) to keep it clean.  I failed once or twice, but nothing bad.

When Feminism Goes Wrong

This is part 3 of my infinite part series on how I hate feminism.  We all want equality, but some things are kinda stupid.

Also, for some bonus fun go into the youtube comments section and read some of the real vile hateful things that have been said about me.

The Real Issue Of Racism

These were my thoughts on the Zimmerman verdict.  I forgot to post this last week.

Detroit In Collapse

I made this video the other day, you should watch it... cuz it has me in it.

New Game To Play

Every time you meet a vegetarian ask them.  "ARE YOU PRO CHOICE"?

When they say "yes" jump on a table and scream "IRONY!!!!!!"

Then give yourself 2 points.  3 if you fall off the table.

Its the best game I ever came up with.

Why I Don't Believe In Karma

Chris Mathews has a Job and I don't.

He gets paid millions of dollars a year to say THIS crap, and I get paid nothing to report on it.

I Swear I'm Not Racist

Recently I was eating dinner with friends at the best restaurant named for a sailor with a speech impediment and a rail thin girlfriend that another mentally handicapped man keeps trying to steal away.

If you still didn't pick up what I was layin down, I was at Popeyes fried chicken. When I hit my second piece like Jay Carney hits his CIA approved talking points I realized something. Barack Obama is a lot like fried chicken. When you see both of them your mouth starts to water and they are all you think about, but once you get inside, you realize its not really that good. You only really like the crispy skin.

At least I'm assuming his skin is crispy. For some reason he's never returned my letters asking him about it, and what his hair smells like. What a jerk!

I Just Don't Get It Anymore

So I'm a jerk. I really don't want to make this about myself, but when you think about it, everything is, so why stop now. I haven't been around much in the past few months and I feel terrible about it. Here's the problem though. I'm not jaded anymore. Well I guess that's the wrong word. I'm just numb to it all.

WBC Vs CME

Yesterday I had the pleasure if getting into an internet debate about equivalency. Now if you're a sane rational person like I pretend to be most of the time, you know that the Westboro Baptist Church are not good people. Misguided they may be, they are also not nearly as bad as say... Chechen Muslim terrorist who blow up local sporting events.

Because I decided to take the non popular, but accurate stance that the WBC has never flown planes into buildings, or strapped suicide vests onto children, I was called a F%*#@*$ Retard. Which I think we can all agree is a pretty reasonable and rational response to my argument.

Even with that being said I tried to use some facts, and to my dismay the “masses” were not swayed. So in the end I had to relent... and agree that they are pretty equal.

Let this be a lesson to you, whenever you debate on anything and you start to lose because you invented some false equivalent. Just call your opponent a F%*#&@% Retard, and be unflappable. Then brush you're shoulders off, and walk away into the sunset.

Its also a good idea to have this argument near sunset, otherwise you will have to stand there and be unflappable for a lot longer than you may want.

A Poem For Palmer

Recently A poet by the name of Amanda Palmer wrote a poem with a great deal of empathy toward the Boston Marathon Bomber. I capitalized all three because I'm sure MSNBC and Amanda Palmer want to consider this a proper title, and probably a hate crime otherwise.

Originally I was excited for the poem because I assumed Amanda was the daughter, and or sister, and or wife of Robert Palmer who shares a common addiction with me.  The addiction to love.  Unfortunately that was not the case.

Now I'm no student of poetry. Outside of my 8^th grade English class I never cared for it, and to be honest, I didn't care for it then, cuz I hate it, but I figured I would try my hand at one in honor of Ms Palmer.

So here goes.

The One WHERE I Say Racist Things.

Warning, I use some words that aren't intended for civilized society in order to illustrate a point.

For some reason I can't get it to embed, so just click the link.  Please?  I'll be your best friend.

Why Did I Waste My Time Talking About Chris Mathews?

Dear Chris Mathews:

Over the many years you have been at MSNBC I've noticed you, wondered about you, and at times though... here is a guy I don't agree with but understand. There was a time when I thought you were liberal, but fair.

Today I'm not so happy to report that I rescind that label I gave to you some years back.

We've all know for years that you are no different than that crazy neighbor or drunk uncle (emphasis on the drunk, and crazy) that we all have who spouts out crazy things from time to time. The only difference is my drunk uncle doesn't have a near prime time hour to spew political garbage at america.

I don't know when I realized it, maybe it was about 5-6 years ago, but I just did't care. Recently though you said something so dumb that a dumb person with a head full if idiot juice would have to stand up and say, “wow you're dumb you idiot”.

Now to be fair I don't like name calling, if with stupid idiots like Chris Mathews. So you will never hear me call the dumb jerk stupid. I just won't do it; but when he compares senators keeping a vote off the floor for gun regulation to Jim Crow laws in the south?

I mean at first glance you think to yourself... yeah he's probably right. Reducing our inalienable God given rights, printed by man is just like segregation. Its exactly the same thing.

Then, when you think about it, and put some rational though into it... you realize... this guy is stupid.

Like really stupid.

Like short bus stupid.

Like eating paste stupid.

Like tugging on Superman's cape stupid.

Like Spitting into the wind stupid.

Like messing around with Jim.

So I may have accidentally jumped into a Jim Croce song, but I think you get the point.

Chris Mathews is dumb, or stupid. One of the two, you get to choose.

Not Exactly Timely

I was asked to do a video on this, I thought I would share with you since it is relevant   while I don't go as in-depth as I would have liked, I do hit on a few key points on why Obamacare will fail.

In Response To Zombie Jesus Day

To whom it may concern:

I don't mind that you are making fun of my lord and savior, its a free country and I understand not everyone believes what I believe.  The problem I do have is your mischaracterization of zombies.  Zombies are mindless shambling creatures who returned from the dead in search of human flesh and brains.  Jesus did none of those things, he came back from the dead to show people how eternal life can be had, and he also wanted to show off his awesome scars to a couple of girls. (I think, don't quote me on that)  It is not know if he was fully corporeal at the time he did all this, so if you want to say "ghost Jesus" day, I wont argue, but zombie Jesus is just plain wrong.

Race Baiter Toure

So I made THIS video the other day, for some reason I can't find it to embed, but I can give you a direct link.

Please enjoy.  I lost a subscriber to my channel because of it.

My thoughts on the new pope

I decided to give a few words on the new pope, and my thoughts on the liberal elite who don't like him.

p.s. I say like 3 bad words in this... you have been warned.

A Moment On The New Pope

Now I haven't been Catholic in nearly 20 years, but I keep hearing about how people are angry because the church isn't getting with the times.  This is the equivalent of you being pissed because Pizza Hut doesn't have cheeseburgers.

Thanks A Lot Republicans

Yesterday I walked to my front door and grabbed the mail sitting in, of all places, the mail box. In the box I had received a letter from the state of Michigan. Apparently, the republicans in my state feel the need to make me log, and prove all the jobs I apply for on a weekly basis, and file those reports monthly. What a bunch of jerks. If I would have gotten laid off before January 6^th, I would have been on easy street... now I actually have to actively look for a job.

This is the problem with men, and America. This truly makes me sad to have boy parts in my third base area. Next thing you know they will make me pay for the contraception supplies I don't need.

Sorry Guys, I'm A Democrat Now

Nearly 2 weeks ago tragedy befell the Walkingdead house hold. The irresponsible fiscal policies of the the Bush administration swept into his office and I was laid off. Now that I have to subsist on Top Ramen and skittles(too soon?) I've found in my couch cushions its time for me to reevaluate my political stance.

That's why today I'm happy to announce, I'm a democrat.

I didn't arrive at this decision blindly, I just looked at the facts.

Fact #1 Republicans want me to get a job.

Fact #2 I don't want a job.

Fact #3 Joe Biden's views on how a woman should protect herself are inarguable.

Fact #4 contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be gay or black to be a democrat, and as of right now I'm neither of those things.

So hopefully Keln will still let me post here for the time being, until my unemployment benefits run out, and I'm forced to go back into the work force.

This is not a joke, I'm dead serious about this.