Saturday, February 16, 2013

So...The Banjo Thing

I'm sort of in trouble with Mrs. Keln. Because I bought a banjo. Apparently, I've been talking about buying (or threatening to buy) a banjo for some time now. Probably years. And she was sort of planning on buying me one for my birthday this year. Who knew? I mean, she hates me even trying to play a guitar and forget a fiddle (which I am lousy at) or singing (which I think I am fair at), so I thought music was self-gift free territory.

Once again, no man understands women until they're dead. The men I mean. Women go on living longer than men, which is quite unfair. When a man figures women out, he dies so he can't do anything with his new-found wisdom. That might be encoded in our DNA or something. Like...if you figure women out, you will have a life-ending heart attack, no matter how old you are. So, from this moment on, I refuse to try and understand women anymore. I'll live forever in ignorance.

Still, I am sort of wondering what else I could have got for my birthday if I had talked about it enough. I mean, I have always wanted a banjo (I used to pretend my Louisville Slugger was a banjo when I was a kid while listening to bluegrass), but there are better things I could have dropped hints about.

Like a new president. That would have been a great gift for my birthday. I mean...the one we are stuck with for the next for years...that's like getting a cheap tourist ukelele when you wanted a Les Paul guitar. You'll settle for a Yamaha, but geez...a fake ukelele with plastic strings? That is what Obama is. What a horrible gift.

So...what should I try and get her to buy me now?


  1. You know why men die before their wives?

    They WANT to.

  2. "no man understands women until their dead." Their what?

    BTW, by buying you a banjo for your birthday, she was trying to make YOU happy, not herself. Geez. That's a no brainer.

    Maybe you could ask her for a plane ticket to Detroit so you and walkingdead can jam?


    2. Grammar hammer?

      What are you guys talking about?

    3. He plays dumb...but then he edits the mistake. Hmmm. Gotcha, Keln!!!

    4. I'm gonna have to start taking screen caps of your articles.

  3. Random. I want to practice Ruzzle so I can beat Lactose. If anybody wants to play, I'm Zumbatrina.

  4. First..In order to make peace with Mrs. Keln, I suggest you impress on her the fact that the more time you pick on your new banjo,..the less time you will pick on her!

    Second...For your birthday, start dropping hints that you want Hope And Change. This apparently leads to a LOT of vacation time in VERY posh resort ares.

    Good Luck with both!