Friday, April 5, 2013

I am Joe: Easter

I am Joe.  I am excited.  I get to have Easter this Sunday! I know that Easter was last Sunday, but we had Cesar Chavez Day instead.  Uncle Cesar never came out of his tomb, though.  That is good.  I don’t like Uncle Cesar very well.  Last Easter he came to visit us.  He kept sniffing and laughing and saying he could still smell Bush sulfur, but I am pretty sure he was just passing gas.  And he took my Easter basket for the greater good.  He said he would give me back the candy that was my fair share.  I just got back the black jelly beans and some wrappers and some Peeps with the heads bited off.  The Peeps were hard and chewy.  And they smelled like sulfur.
And I did the white house Easter egg hunt and did not find any eggs and got sad.  I beated my head on the wall until Missus Boss said we could do my own egg hunt this Sunday.  My head hurts now.  I will wear my helmet if I do that again.  So I get to have Easter this Sunday again.  Yay!
Cesar Chavez Day was fun too.  Boss was playing basketball.  Little kids beat him. It was funny.  He thinks he is black but he can’t do sports.  Sasha says I should not say those things cause it is racist, but he was shadow boxing last week and he got his butt kicked, too.  It was funny too.  He was embarrassed.  He told everyone he fell down the stairs, but we all know it was from shadow boxing.  Uncle Kim Jong sent us a link to Boss playing basketball.  He said in the comments that Rodman teached him basketball and he would play Boss one-on-one for world supremacy. LOL. 
Ace Ventura came to have Cesar Day with us too.  He was dressed as a cowboy with guns, and I was afraid.  I almost ran to the school cause it was a gun-free zone, so I knew I would be safe, but Boss told me it would be ok.  I was still scared.  I thought he might shoot me cause Ace Ventura is crazy.  How did he get a gun with background checks. When I saw him come up to the house, I almost shot him through the door with my shotgun, but Missus Boss stopped me.  He did a performing art.  It was weird.  He dunked himself in a big jar of pee.  He called it Piss Charleton Heston.  Sasha said, “Pissant is more like it.”  Sasha is more funnier than Ace Ventura.
I can’t not wait until Easter.  I am Joe.

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