Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Nuke the Punchine- In Your Dreams

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Doctors Say “Sleep Texting” Is Becoming a Common Problem, Which May Explain Why Obama Tweeted…



#5 Burt: …”it’s covered by Obamacare.”

#4 rodney dill: ♫
Sweet dreams are made for me
Who are you to disagree?
I rule the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s helps me for something

Some times I want to use you
Some times I want to get helped by you
Some times I want to abuse you
Some times I want the GOP abused too.

Sweet dreams are made for me
Who are you to disagree?
I rule the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s giving me something

#3 Bob in Feenicks: ”Time to make the donuts.”

#2 Dohtimes: …If you like your doctor, Obamacare means you can visit his brain in a jar at your new doctor’s office.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Isaac:

Doctors Say “Sleep Texting” Is Becoming a Common Problem, Which May Explain Why Obama Tweeted… During Benghazi.


Cookies to Isaac!

and walruskkkch gets kiss up cookies for his line: 

Doctors Say “Sleep Texting” Is Becoming a Common Problem, Which May Explain Why Obama Tweeted…If only Michelle would let me have……COOKIES!


Kiss up cookies to walruskkkch!

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For a great international relations update, go and read Wait, What?!? Obama's Foreign Policy. Cookies to arik!!!!

Then, don't forget to submit a title for Bored Fusion 9: What Do You Get?  (Tomorrow I'll post winners and a new pic :)

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My favorite NP punchlines:

Scott Olson/Getty Images

The Marines are offering infantry training to enlisted women but not infantry positions. Next to offer training but not jobs...

#3 Rodney Dill : ...The President.

#2 Harvey : ...NSA Ethics Director.

My favorite line was from Oppo:

The Marines are offering infantry training to enlisted women but not infantry positions. Next to offer training but not jobs...Rodeo Clown College.


Toffee Trifle to Oppo!

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Here's a new line for you to try:



Lenders are checking your social media connections to determine your credit score. Next they'll check... 

9 comments:

  1. ...that one website those goofy hipsters keep singing about:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tloVHJtrJ_k

    ReplyDelete
  2. Those things on your "permanent record" from Kindergarten.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ...your sleeve length and inseam, for future charges.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ... your page view stats, in order to determine your Pinterest rate. (Booooo!)

    ReplyDelete
  5. ... your little black book, to see if you qualify for amourgage. (... also to update their amourtization tables.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. ...to see if you're on double secret probation.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ...to see if you can afford to pay more in taxes.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ...your file at the NSA.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ...one last time to see if those stones are really out of blood.

    ReplyDelete