Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Frankly, My Deer

In my ongoing quest to find political metaphors in anything and everything, I have decided to take my close encounter with a small doe on Memorial Day and make it an allegory for America Today.

On my way home from work Monday morning, I was in the center of three lanes on the highway, going 55. Trafic was moderate, because of the holiday. I had a truck or a van off to my left and half a length ahead of me, and a car to my immediate right. I was in a suburban area, right in the middle of town near our bug, busy shopping area.

Now, the river by the highway flows into a metropark not far from there, but where I was, it was just a small strip of woods and then a 40 foot drop to the river. But that's immaterial, because the deer came from the LEFT, from the concrete center divider. The truck braked, swerved and grazed the back end of the deer, turning it 90 degrees and putting it right in the center of my lane.
So, my car is wrecked, but still drivable.

So, how do I turn this into a metaphor for America today?

Well, the truck was the democRats. It knew what was coming, saw it coming, and still managed to get dinged, though not seriously.

My car was the Republicans, who knew there was a threat to the left (the truck), but were still blindsided, and are still incredulous at what actually happened.

The deer is the American people, who took a trip, against all sense, to the left and got smacked by the democRats, whio went on their merry way, while the Republicans took major damage and the American people literally got the crap knocked out of them.
We're still not sure if the Republicans are fixable or if they will be totalled. Where the metaphor breaks down is that the American people still have a chance to pick themselves up out of the middle of the highway, while the deer required a road crew and some shovels.

Hair's to you, my deer!


  1. Did the deer have insurance?

  2. Nope, wasn't old enough to drive. On the other hand, in the split second I had to stare directly into its eyes at it ceased to be, I saw a distinct resemblance to Obama watching the IRS The NSA, the VA and all the other scandals bearing down in his administration. It looked so close except for the ears, which were WAY smaller.

  3. Road crew and shovels??? No, no, no! A sharp knife, a whole bunch of ziplock baggies, a freezer, and (on an as-desired basis) an oven or grill!

    Good heavens we Republicans miss out on opportunities!

    I'll give you points for having a good working metaphor, however. Those don't come cheap.

    Good luck with the car!