Friday, May 23, 2014

Guess Who's Going to (Be) Dinner

So, Paul Ehrlich, who in 1968 wrote a book predicting mass starvation by the mid 70s/early 80s, is capitalizing on the obvious success of his prior prognostications by predicting that we will soon be so hungry that the only way to survive will be to eat our own dead.
This begs a number of obvious questions:

  • Do we taste like chicken?
  • White meat? Or dark?
  • Best grilled, fried or roasted?
  • Do alcoholics taste like Wagyu beef?
  • If grandma's on life support, can we start marinating her early?
  • Do we have to cook people according to their ethnicity, i.e. Must we Parm Italians? Burrito wrap Mexicans? Stir-Fry Chinese? Or can we do Fusion?
  • White wine or red?
Anyone have any good recipes?

And I have been politely asked by management to refrain from any and all wiener jokes.

Seriously. That's what she said.


  1. Cannibals in South America called humans 'the long pig', I assume that means they thought we taste like pork. Therefore, any pork recipe should do in a pinch.

    Don't eat the brain or the liver however, the brain will give a disease similar to 'mad-cow disease' and the liver is where toxins in the body are processed so it would seem to be a bad choice depending on the lifestyle of the person to be over for dinner.

    Hannibal Lector recommends human livers with fava beans and a nice Ceviche so I guess it may be a personal choice for liver.

  2. If pork, why not bacon? Mmmmm, bacon.

    Liver would seem to be a bad choice whatever the species, yet some of them are quite tasty indeed. In moderation, perhaps?

    Pretty sure Hannibal likes his with Chianti.

    Also, pretty sure he likes his human brains really, REALLY fresh. (WARNING: REALLY GRAPHIC!! ALSO GROSS)

  3. I think you're right about the wine, my bad for not knowing what wine goes best with human liver.

    I like chicken liver breaded and deep-fried. Maybe if human liver was chopped into bite sized chunks then cooked the same way.

    I remember the brain scene, they tried to make us hate the guy before they showed it, but still gave and gives me shivers.

    1. Yeah, it was kind of creepy.

      Chicken livers are like anchovies - an acquired taste. Fortunately, I have acquired a taste for both. Best part of anchovies is they deter pizza moochers - there's no such thing as a half-anchovy pizza.