Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: Obama Walks into a Bar

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

Obama walks into a bar...

 #5 Laurence Simon:
President Obama walks into a bar and orders a beer.
“Can I see some ID?” says the bartender.
“I’m the president!” says Obama. “Don’t you recognize me?”
“That’s nice,” says the bartender. “But I need to see some ID. This is a bar, not a polling place.”

A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde and President Obama walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks, “Is this some kind of joke?”

#3 blarg: …cause that’s what happens when you keep lowering it.

#2 Bob in Feenicks: Joe Biden walks into a bra...

And the best punchline goes to zzyzx:
While campaining for her…President Obama and Elizabeth Warren walk into a bar and sat down for a couple of beers. A few minutes later, a secret service agent walked in and said,
“Who owns the big black dog outside?”
“I do”, President Obama replied. “Why?”
The agent replied, “You better take care of him. He¹s almost dead from the heat.”
The president and Elizabeth Warren rushed outside and found Bo leaning against a fire hydrant, panting. They got him some water and soon he was looking better, but he was still panting.
The president said, “Elizabeth, run around Bo as fast as you can and see if the breeze makes him feel any better.
Elizabeth replied, “Sure, Mr. President,” and began running around and around Bo as fast as she could. The president returned to the bar to finish his beer.
A few minutes later, another secret service agent came into the bar and asked, “Who owns that big black dog outside?”
“I do,” the president said, “What’s wrong with him this time?”
“Nothin’,” the agent said, “But you left your Injun runnin’.”
Congratulations zzyzx!

Now here's a line for you guys to fool around with:

 What's Obama's favorite song?

Another tough one, but a lot of places to go with it.


  1. eve of destruction

  2. the eggplant that ate chicago

    "if he's still hungry, the whole country is doomed"