my thoughts on the massacre

Now that I am a world famous blogger I get contacted all the time by people wanting to know my thoughts on daily news and events. Today was no different in my routine when I was contacted by myself concerning the Colorado shooting at the premier of “The Dark Knight Rises”.

Now normally Keln only permits me to make one post a day, so no snitching on me OK. I just thought that my statements on this event needed to be posted.

So now, reprinted with permission from myself. I now present my interview.

Q: Hello Chris how are you?

A: I'm fine thank you for asking.

Q: Before we get in to this, I just wanted to let you know, you are really handsome. I don't believe any of your ex-girlfriends when they say you resemble a sweaty pile of mess. What do you have to say to them?

A: What does this have to do with why you contacted me?

Q: Noting, I just wanted that to be stated for any single ladies out there that may be reading, and could be interested in a handsome man who is in his early 30's, has a reasonable amount of baldness, and, well as we like to call you around the office, CURVY. So any way. What are your thoughts on the Colorado shooting?

A: Its terrible really. I have no idea why anyone would ever want to do something like that. I mean, we have such a struggle in life, its not my job to make any one else suffer ya know.

Q: Do you have any thoughts on what exactly could have caused this?

A: Well no, I really... I really couldn't venture a guess. Nor do I want to.

Q: Well in my job, you know as a reporter I need to place blame on someone. My guess would be the tea party, how do you feel about my wild speculation?

A: I think its terrible. This is the same garbage we got after the Tuscon shooting. Wild speculation about how this was connected to Sarah Palin, and other republican political figures. What came of any of that? I'll tell you, nothing, nothing came of that. 12 people are dead, and all you want to do is place political blame on this? You make me pretty sick to think about what you're saying right now. I like to consider myself a tea party guy, I've met several tea party people. None of them ever wanted anything like this to happen. You know sometimes crazy can just be motivated by crazy. Personally until any facts come out on this, and so far there are no facts behind his motivation, he's just a crazy guy doing something crazy. That’s all. Now do me a favor and get the hell out of my face.

Q: Thank you for your time.

A: No problem. Anything else?

Q: No I think that will do it. Good day.