Tuesday, August 14, 2012

They'll Put Y'all Back in Chains...of Freedom

I'm 1/32 Southerner, y'all...

Well, it looks like there is a big firestorm a-brewin' amongst Republicans and the right-wing about yet another apparent gaffe by the Vice President. It seems like he was trying to outdo Obama's "you didn't build that" thing, by saying something even more ridiculous. Or was he? As I pointed out before, "you didn't build that" was taken completely out of context, and I think it is incredibly obvious that Biden's "put y'all back in chains", said to a largely African-American audience, is also being taken out of context. Sort of. Well, not really. It is being taken in context, but with an ignorance of history on the part of the right. That, and not understanding the brilliance of the left.

I guess I should state what he said, in context:

 "He said in the first 100 days, he's going to let the big banks once again write their own rules," Biden said. "Unchain Wall Street! They're gonna put y'all back in chains."

Now, Republicans are claiming Biden was talking to the roughly 50% of the crowd that was Black, and I agree that was probably the case, but he was also talking to the white folks, because it is the same chains. The chains of freedom. Velvet they may be, they still make you a slave to responsibility. Now for a history lesson.

The Democrats used to be, like, big time racists. They were pretty much the slavery party, until the Civil War. After that they were the Jim Crow party until they lost the Civil Rights battle. After that, they decided that the Republicans, originally the Abolitionist Party (as in anti-slavery) should take over as the racist party, because it wasn't helping the Democrats anymore. The Republicans didn't want to be the racist party, but the Democrats owned Hollywood and the Media, and so it didn't matter what the Republicans wanted, they were now to be known as the racist party. 

So the Democrats declared themselves the new "we love black people and other minorities party". Because they were now full of so much love. And marijuana. And cocaine. But mostly love, man. Somehow, the Democrats, who were formerly completely racist, misogynistic, and anti-everyone that wasn't a white rich protestant male, was for everyone except white rich protestant males. Even though the Democrats are still mostly white rich protestant males. And they hate white rich protestant males now. Hey, they gotta hate someone...it's their schtick. 

See, what the Democrats did was come to recognize that there was a different kind of slavery in America, and as the new protectors of Black people, they knew they had to squash this slavery, to make up for things in the past. This slavery, called "freedom" was cloaked in promises of freedom of thought and speech and the ability to live the American dream, and make a business, and be successful, and do anything a white rich protestant male could do. But it bound people, especially minorities, in the shackles of personal responsibility. And the Democrats couldn't bear to allow minorities to be weighed under such a burden.

So the Democrats came up with a plan to protect minorities, and women, and jews, and anyone else they formerly hated and discriminated against. They would establish a new, benevolent plantation called the "Government Entitlement Programs Plantation". It would provide health care, and housing, and food, and clothing, and marijuana, and beer. They vowed that if minorities and such would keep voting Democrat, they would keep giving them free stuff on this new and happy shiny plantation. They would protect them all from the evils of freedom-slavery and the horrible consequences of personal responsibility that it brings with it.

They also kinda promised to kick anyone off the plantation if they said something conservative or voted for a Republican. But that is neither here nor there. The important thing to remember here is, Biden needed to give those folks in Virginia a reminder of the deal. If Republican scumbag minority-hating Hitler spawn who go around killing people with murder-cancer like Romney and the drought-inducing Ryan gain power, then it is all over for minorities. The Republicans will be in power again, and they will release Wall Street and businesses in general from the prison that Obama so courageously put them in, and they will use freedom-slavery to put chains back on everyone.

It will be an apocalypse, like back when the great white freedom-slave master Reagan was in charge.

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