Sunday, September 23, 2012

Lactose's Intolerant Opinion: 9-23-12

I'm sure everyone is aware of what Obama said on Univision.  He said the most important lesson he learned during his first term in the White House is that you can't change Washington from the inside. You can only change it from the outside. That's how the big accomplishments, like health care, got done.

This really got me thinking.  Unless I'm misremembering, Obamacare was the biggest inside Washington job I have ever witnessed.  Can Obama really believe what he just said, that Obamacare was accomplished from outside the system? 

Then it struck me.  Everything got clear. I'd forgotten one key thing. English is his second language. That is why he claims he has done a poor job communicating to us.  That is why he can't get the correct story out to us.  He literally does not know what he is saying.  This is an easy problem to solve.  We just have to let him speak in his native Kenyan and provide a translator to convey his wisdom to us.

I bet in his native Kenyan, he could really speak peace to the Middle East too.  Can't be worse than how he's doing in English.  I've been keeping score since 9/11.  So far the Obama administration has finally admitted that maybe the deaths in Benghazi were a planned attack rather than the acts of helpless Muslim victims unwittingly possessed by an evil, demon you tube video. 

Meanwhile, an American flag killed one Muslim who burned it, a Muslim was injured burning an Obama effigy, and Muslim protesters in Pakistan have managed to kill 19 fellow Muslim protesters.  An inanimate object and the Muslims themselves are retaliating better than Obama.  Even a dummy Obama was more effective than the real deal. Maybe we should just start distributing flags, effigies and matches until we can get some real leadership in Washington.  We can ship them over with representatives from Code Pink.

But speaking of pink, it's been getting so bad in Pakistan that KFC has begun to close down and pull out.  This is just the chicken power vacuum Chik-Fil-A has been waiting for.  They already don't like gays, so they'll fit right in there.

And speaking of primitives, the Elizabeth Warren/Scott Brown debates were just held.  Did anyone else find them really odd?  I think someone may have spiked Liz's peace pipe.

Warren was refusing to answer any question unless she was addressed by her Native American name, 'Lies-with-a-Fist,' and a few times she slipped up and referred to the electorate by the Cherokee name for them, 'Sitting-Bulls-Bend-Over.'  Then half way through, the debate devolved into a haggling session, and Brown ended up purchasing Warren's home and land for a box of beads and some disease-ridden blankets.  Very odd.

Til later, derka, derka.


  1. Chicken power vacum is funny, but I really like the idea of a chicken powered vacuum.

  2. One of the most astute pieces I have ever read. Thank you.