Thursday, March 14, 2013

New Virus on the Prowl

So, there's a new virus in town. But don't worry, it has only infected 15 people. And killed 9 of them. Which means a mortality rate of about 60%. Yikes. Well, it seems that this virus only, so far, has infected people in or traveling to the Middle East. Presumably people with Middle Eastern names only. Which is strange. What ever could the connection be, I wonder?

Well, the thing about this particular virus is that it is a virus that infects bats. But bat attacks aren't really a big thing in the Middle East as much as it is in, say, Romania or some such made-up place. However, scientists have postulated that somehow the bat virus went from them to man via goats. So what is the connection here? Bats, goats, Middle Eastern men. How could there be a connection?


Well, I think these science people are way off. They are missing the obvious here. I don't think goats are involved at all, and the Middle Eastern thing is a non-causative anomaly. My hypothesis is that the most direct route for a virus to be transmitted from bats to men is via Batman. I mean, come on. How could they not consider that? Instead, Science! decides goats got in there somewhere. I mean, goats aren't even close to humans. Bats aren't either, except there is batman...who is human, or so he would have us believe.

I am not saying he is part bat...but he is at least close to them. And who knows what goes on in that bat cave of his? I'm just saying...Occam's Razor here. The simplest solution is most often the correct solution. To go from bats to men...Batman.

So Batman just introduced a plague on the level of the Black Death to mankind. Way to go jerk.


  1. I think you should ask Lactose about the goat thing. I think it's safe to say he's the NP goat expert.


  2. I think I have this right now, I'm so sick everything hurts. even my hair. I'm not dead yet, but I kinda wish I was.

    1. Poor walkingdead! See what happens when you become a democrat? Pain. Even your hair hurts. :(

      Can I send you food? I'm female. I can make sandwiches. But I'm better at cookies.

  3. The real question is how the sequester and racism caused this.

  4. Bats and goats and beasts better scurry,
    Plant my I-E-D in a hurry,
    Think I might have eaten bad curry
    At the shawarma shop…