Thursday, March 14, 2013

Nuke the Punchline: Can I Get a Doggie Bag

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

The funniest thing Obama said at the Gridiron Club Press Dinner...

#5 Jeff: ...“My fellow Americans…”

#4 Bunkerhillbilly: ...I have to say that my warmest memories are of summer days spent with my dad in Chicago at that other great gridiron, Lambert Fields, watching the Bears take on the Yankees and catching a foul-tip punt from Stan “The Can” Musical.

#3 Rodney Dill: ...and then Pelosi said with a straight face…. well with all that Botox how else could she say it.

#2 Dohtimes: ...My foreign policy? Talk like a stud but make sure my Sec. of State is a horse of a different color.

And the best line goes to Apostic:

The funniest thing Obama said at the Gridiron Club Press Dinner: “Let me be clear. The time is now, and I will speak from the heart. We have system rebooting loading text enter password…” 

Congratulations Apostic.


The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was from Rodney Dill

After the commander of the Pacific Fleet said that the biggest threat was global warming...and politician indecision... our two biggest threats are global warming and politician indecision... and someone stole the strawberries... No, our three biggest threats are... wait a minute, let me come in again.

Congratulations Rodney Dill.


Now here's a line for you guys to investigate:

After Mississippi passed an "Anti Bloomberg" bill...


  1. (I wouldn't have thought of checking youtube, I knew about the strawberries from reading the Caine Mutiny years ago.)

    1. I had to look it up even though I had seen the movie a couple times.

  2. ...renamed the state to Blississippi

  3. ...Mayor Bloomberg started screaming "I'm melting! I'm melting!... what a world..."

  4. ...they also changed the spelling to igottapeepeei.

  5. ...Bloomberg raised the syringe capacity of free needles to 32 ounces and required all drug dealers to sell 85% pure heroin.

  6. ...Biden responded that it was a positive step to preventing another tragedy like the Titanic from happening again.