Tuesday, April 16, 2013

This is Supposed to be a Happy Occasion. Let's Not Quibble About Who Killed Who. (What Can Men Do Against Such Reckless Hate)

My man in State has done it again.  In the wake of the awful tragedy in Boston, the Obama administration is moving quickly to make sure that a tragedy such as this can never happen again.   Here is a draft outlining some of the actions they hope to implement.
·         Extensive background checks at hardware stores before one can purchase plumbing/construction supplies like pipes, nails and ball bearings.
·         Require that marathons be run within established bomb-free zones.
·         Limit nail gun clips to ten nails.
·         Change the ATF to the ATFF.  The extra F is for Fertilizer.
·         Allow the ATFF to regulate all farmers and gardening supply stores, and make personal composting illegal.
·         Have Nancy finally read the Affordable Care Act and make sure it covers high quality prosthetics.
·         Use profiling techniques to round up the Tea Party and have its members ground into mulch for trustworthy, never violent organic farmers.
·         Blame the bombing on Bush and this Youtube video.
·         Imprison the producer of that Youtube video.
·         Bask in the security of the new, safer America.

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