Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Loose Change Part Deux or Fahrenheit 4/15

Who is Behind the Boston Massacre? 
I’m Just Asking Questions.
Who benefits?
Who hates marathons?

Why did all morbidly obese people suspiciously stay home from the race that day?
When asked her opinion about the bombing, why did Rosie O’Donnell have only this to say? “All I know is that this would be only the second time in history that fire melted steel.”
Why were the bombs planted in locations that had very large grassy knolls nearby, large enough to conceal someone with great girth?
Why did the bombs target people who were enjoying delicious, fattening ice cream?
Why did the shrapnel exhibit unusually high traces of Twinkie residue that was well past its expiration date?
Why did forensic scientists discover markings on the bomb fragments that they could only describe as Cheetos prints?
Why were the bombs situated so that only the food stands with healthy snacks were in the blast radius?
Why did it take President Obama nearly three hours to respond to the attack?  And why did he withhold the obvious blame for the attack?  Could it be because Michelle was busy entertaining ‘representatives’ from Big Chocolate at the time? And they had Sasha and Malia?
Why was the Bloomberg Big Gulp Ban suspiciously overturned just before the registration deadline for next year’s New York Marathon?
Is it a coincidence that the Massachusetts Obamacare Exchange redefined the gastric bypass as in optional procedure not entitled to coverage just days before the event?
Why was Michael Moore so quick to switch blame from the obvious culprits to the Tea Party?
Why did the screenplay about a marathon bombing submitted by Oliver Stone a week before the marathon have so many product placements for Weight Watchers, and why was Jonah Hill cast as the lead terrorist?
Why is it that all Boston area Home Depots were sold out of pipes, nails and Snickers?
Why were Joe Biden, Barney Frank, Charley Rangle and the CEO of Dunkin' Donuts scheming over the past month to open a franchise at the exact location of the blast site?
Why have security cameras allegedly captured video of large suspects waddling around the marathon finish line days before the race, and why, when asked for the footage, did the security company insist that the video files and IT personnel responsible for their safe keeping have been eaten?
Yes, I think it is very clear who is behind the attack.  Bush and Cheney.  Or the Jews.  Not sure which.


  1. Who hates marathons?
    Well, I do hate running, but the only thing I do about it is stop.

  2. Anyone else thinking "too soon"?

    1. I was. But that is how I deal with tragedy. It's a laughing through the tears thing with me. It hit me particularly bad since if I had a little extra cash, I would have been on that finish line watching. If you want to delete it, feel free. It was my self-therapy.

    2. All the talking heads speculating that it was right wing extremists without any cause had my ire up too. Again, my therapy.