Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Permanent Spring Break :)

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

President Obama’s Advice to College Graduates:…

#5 Ramelle:  …Don’t quit your day class.

#4 Mike the Cynic: One word folks… Ball bearings. Everything is ball bearings these days. [I'm a sucker for Fletch quotes :)]

#3 seanmahair: ..get down to the Welfare office early but don’t go on Mondays or you’ll miss Jerry Springer.

#2 kandll:…let me be clear. if anyone knows about massive unpayable debt, it's the federal government. so believe me when I say don't worry, no one actually expects you to pay it back.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from can of spam:

President Obama’s Advice to College Graduates:… Don’t think of it as “unemployment”, think of it as a “permanent spring break”.

COOKIES to can of spam!
(can of spam, what's your favorite kind??)

My Snaughty dwarf has a couple new zingers: This Land is Their Land and Lactose and the TSA Make a Porno. There is a reason I call him S-naughty.  If you want a good laugh, you should check them out.  Cookies to Lactose!!  By the way, he's subbing over at IMAO these days but he's MY Nuking Politics dwarf. Let's make sure he remembers to whom he belongs :)

I love it when you guys comment on my NP lines. :)  Here are my favorite responses to:

Pet Food Stamps is a program President Obama...

#3 Oppo: ... admitted was Biden the hand that feeds you.

#2 Rodney Dill: ...allows you to send your pet almost anywhere in the U.S. via the USPS using only food stamps.

and my favorite line was from Bob in Feenicks..:

Pet Food Stamps is a program President Obama....strongly supports. Fido can't be under-nourished when the president finally eats, I mean, meets him.

COOKIES to Bob in Feenicks!

Here's a new line for you to try:

If Republican Senator Ted Cruz is a "schoolyard bully" then [fill in the name of a Progressive] is a ...


  1. ...Nancy Pelosi is a Heather


  2. ...Shela Jackson Lee is a Mensa member.

  3. ... Obama's the jerk always putting tax on peoples' chairs.

    ... Biden is the weird kid eating paste in the gaffeteria.

    ... the cussed toady-enne is Janitor Napolitano.

  4. ...Bill Clinton is a vice principal at an all girls school.

    ...Harry Reid is the creepy old guy who drives by the playground really slowly in his windowless van. (That one is probably true).

  5. ...Hank Johnson is a geophysicist.

  6. ...Harry Reid is the kid who gets the swirlies and atomic wedgies.

  7. Harry Reid is the one with his underwear pulled up over his head.

  8. ... Hillary Clinton is the gym teacher (in comfortable shoes).

    [I like most kinds of cookies, as long as they're not ridiculously overcomplicated concoctions with a ton of different nuts and dried fruits. I'd say white chocolate macadamia nut would hit the spot right now, though.]

    1. White chocolate macadamia nut is one of my favorites. Actually, the ones in the Snow White picture are my white chocolate almond ones. They're extra yummy. I'm been having a tough time finding macadamia nuts. Last time I looked I went to 3 different stores without success. You don't happen to live in Hawaii, do you? If you send me macadamia nuts, I will send you cookies. I'm completely serious, by the way. :)

  9. ... Biden is the kid who actually puts his tongue on the freezing flag pole. (And not even needing a triple dog dare, first!)

  10. Sean Penn is Jeff Spicoli... (wait a minute, hasn't that already been done?)