Cookies, Poltroons, Survival Rations

So here's a two-fold attempt to close the circle on a couple of items…

As to the first fold, the piece I posted last Thursday offered cookies to the best response to: ...Exactly what kind of "wiser" are we since Obama took office, 

I put up three examples, two of which actually happened, (I made up the one about not locking the car)… 

The one posted by jw stuck out the most, partly because it also happened…

jw: …."the kind of wiser you get when the new girlfriend borrows the credit card." 

I hope we're not talking about the same girlfriend here.  When it happened to me, she used it to open a line of credit at the Bellagio, and I'm still getting phone calls from those people 15 years later.

So I owe jw some cookies, and Anonymiss assures me she's on it….

The other fold is this:  come up with an adjective that tops "poltroon" in reference to our would-be king, and use it in a sentence.  The winner will get his choice of:

A. Cookies from Anonymiss:

Choco-Bacon-Oatmeal Cookies

Or B.  Your pick of Harvey's new line of bacon hats:  (specify size, and whether smoked or maple cured)  Like the cookies, most of these hats can be used for survival rations after Obama gets through with us:

"The Ascot"

"Stingy Brim Turbo 2000"

The "Liza Doolittle"

The "Beelzebub Boater"

The "Beachcomber"

The "Sir Francis"