Nuke the Punchline - Painting Blame

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

To Prevent Future Vandalizing of Historic Landmarks, President Obama…

#5 Les:…has ordered that all historic landmarks be transported to a national park on the moon. However, he neglected one important factor: Frank J.

#4 FormerHostage : …ordered the Department of the Interior to paint the words “DO NOT VANDALIZE” on all the monuments.

#3 Jeff in South Dakota: Ordered today that all historic landmarks will be shipped to the 57th State and placed under around the clock guard by armed Corpsmen who only speak Austrian.

#2 c64wood: …had a law passed that made possession of more than 1 oz of paint would be considered “possession with intent to vandalize”.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from blarg: 

To Prevent Future Vandalizing of Historic Landmarks, President Obama…said that it’s the monument’s duty to retreat if it feels threatened and therefore it’s own fault for getting vandalized.
:)

Cookies to blarg!

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You guys are in for a treat! walkingdead has been posting awesome videos he's made: Detroit in Collapse and When Feminism Goes Wrong. Keep an eye out for more to come :) Cookies to walkingdead! 

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My favorite NP punchlines were hard to choose today...so MANY good responses :) 

To honor the President's visit, a Tennessee baker is creating an "Obama Donut". Not to be outdone, Unny wants to make "Obama Uncookies". The ingredients...

#5 jw: iron oxide, powdered aluminum and a magnesium candle.

#4 can of spam: ...well, let's say you'll have to eat it to find out what's in it. And you're taxed if you don't eat it.

#3 FredKey:...bag of flour ($4,423), chocolate chips ($32,177), brown sugar ($23,988), butter ($2,980) -- all listed as expense items from the latest vacation -- baked over the endless supply of hot air.

#2 MrsCampbell: ...they will be fat free, gluten free, sugar free, carb free, but not TAX free!

My favorite line was from Dohtimes:

To honor the President's visit, a Tennessee baker is creating an "Obama Donut". Not to be outdone, Unny wants to make "Obama Uncookies". The ingredients...don't have to be edible, tasty or even swallowed. In fact the less you want the cookies the more determined the effort will be to shove them down your throat. 

Toffee Trifle to Dohtimes!

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Here's a new line for you to try:

Diane Lane will be starring in the upcoming movie about Hillary Clinton. Also in the movie...