Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Good Evening Infidel

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Al Qaeda opened its first official Twitter account. Its first tweet…

#5 Keln:  Does anyone know how to make a “twitter bomb”?

#4 Bob in Feenicks: …’Admiral Akbar!’, followed by: ‘Admiral? I meant Allah Akbar. Curse you, auto correct!’

#3 Oppo: No fake followers allowed! We’re killers, but we’re not as desperate and lame as Obama and Hillary C.

#2 can of spam: … called for the destruction of America. And was promptly “favorited” by @BarackObama.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from rodney dill:

Al Qaeda opened its first official Twitter account. Its first tweet... Silence… I keel you.

 Cookies to rodney dill!

and today's best kiss upper was walruskkkch (he redeemed himself at the last moment):

Al Qaeda opened its first official Twitter account. Its first tweet… I will gladly convert and risk death for some Anonymiss’ cookies!  (I think the grammar hammer could help that somehow...but the typist is a walrus. It's gotta be tough with those big flippers...)

Kiss up cookies to 

Here's a new line for you to try:

Jake of "Body by Jake", Coca-Cola, and Chris Christie are joining forces to fight childhood obesity. Also getting together...


  1. Larry, Curly, and Moe to fight slapstick violence.

  2. Bill Clinton, Sandra Fluke, and Ron Jeremy to fight promiscuity.

  3. ...Nancy Pelosi, John Kerry and Botox to fight public displays of emotion.

  4. Stan Laurel, Pinocchio and Jughead Jones, all suing Obama for stealing their acts.

  5. ... Keith Richards and the Libertarian party to fight drug usage.

  6. Chief Justice Roberts, Obamacare and Dr. Jack Kervorkian to make sure America stays healthy.

  7. Michelle Obama, her left fist, and her right fist to fight obese children.

  8. Joe Biden, Eric Snowden and Julian Assange to fight leaks in government.

  9. Kwame Kilpatrick, Al Sharpton, and Rod Blagojevich to fight political corruption

  10. ...Hillary Clinton and Lois Lerner for Government Accountability.

  11. Buffalo Bill, Bill Clinton, George Clinton, Boy George, George Harrison, Harrison Ford, Ford Prefect, and Barry the Bloodletting Leech in “Dude, Where’s My Healthcare?”