Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - I Have a Thing for Elevens

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Today Is Anonymiss’s Birthday. What Should She Do to Celebrate?


#11 rodney dill: There is no cake… there is no ice cream… Happy Birthday. [Though his wish sounds less than ideal, you should watch the Brian Regan video. So funny!]

#10 RAML: Anything she wants to do.   Her day.
[Anything I want? ANYTHING?? Oh, the possibilities :P]

#9 tinman: Take a well-deserved rest on her shapely laurels. [ Maybe I'll even get a massage. :D ]

#8 walruskkkch: Women don’t have birthdays, they have days when their menfolk give them even more presents than usual. [I guess I need to get myself some "menfolk" then, huh. Volunteers?.]

#7 Jimmy: Get spanked __ times. Now, if __ is large, that could be both good and bad for the spanker.
We need to know this number __.
 [I'll give you a hint. It is greater than 25 and it is prime :P ]

#6 Dohtimes: …after baking cookies she can challenge Jean Butler to a zumba vs Riverdance contest, getting some of her housework done by mopping the floor with the the cloppy footed Ms Butler. [Very satisfying. I have this thing for endorphins...oh, and winning :)]

#5 Da**Cat: ...Harvey should take her out for a nice tuna dinner. [He totally should. I love seafood. I think he owes me! :)]

#4 jw:…eat an oreo. [I actually like oreos. I do. They're just not in the same category as "cookies" :)]

#3 Steve H: ...Outsource the cookie baking to walruskkkch or Rodney Dill.. [I am TOTALLY doing that next year: walrus, rodney, ya better be ready. :)]

#2 Oppo: Fun fact: Nov. 11th used to be called “Anonymistice Day.” [That's kinda awesome :)]

And my favorite straight lines of the day were from Harvey:

Today Is Anonymiss’s Birthday. What Should She Do to Celebrate?…be surprised at having birthday flowers delivered by a hunky fireman. [Too bad the hunky fireman was too busy getting a kitten out of a tree. Maybe next year. But it was a lovely thought :)]

 Cookies to Harvey!
____________________

My favorite line from yesterday was from Rodney Dill:

(AP)

Atheist "mega- churches" are popping up around the world. They teach...that cleanliness is not all its cracked up to be.

Cookies to Rodney Dill!
____________________

Here's a new line for you to try:


Since Anonymiss beat her in a Zumba challenge, MObama...

20 comments:

  1. ... was exiled in shame back to her home planet of Kashyyyk

    http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Kashyyyk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It appears that Anonymiss has never heard of the sage strategy of "let the Wookie win".

      Delete
  2. ... declared unrestricted warfare on cookies.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ... demanded a recount. Chicago-style.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe you missed my birthday, can of spam.

      Delete
    2. Um.... you know that one gift that didn't have a card attached? That was from me. That's the ticket.

      Delete
    3. HUH. That big Target gift card was from you? Come shopping with me and help me spend it :P

      Delete
  4. needed a vacation... at taxpayer expense.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ... blamed it on being Bushed.

    ... was no longer Prada her country.

    ... tried to vacate the results ("vacation" being her middle name)

    ... got the gold medal anyway from the MSM.

    ReplyDelete
  6. D'oh -- Rodney Dill beat me once again!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have no idea who this is, does she bake cookies?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's me, silly walrus. Anonymiss.

      Of *course* I bake cookies. :)

      Delete
  8. ...gave up eating cake and pie and pizza and meat and all the fattening food she loves to eat more cookies. Gave them up for a whole hour while she stuffed herself with cookies. All that training made her hungry though, so she went back to her old diet. In other news, the world has run out of cookies.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ...staggered back to the White House with a splitting headache and the echoes of "I Like to Move It" ringing in her ears, mumbling to herself, "I used to be a contender - I used to be somebody!"

    ReplyDelete
  10. ... realized all the wrong she had done and convinced Obama to become a libertarian. The power of Anonymiss's gyrations knows no bounds!

    btw, is that a pic of you mid-Zumba or did you have a pebble in your shoe?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's my taken-by-accident superhero pic.
      (I think, in reality, I was removing my boots)
      When I really Zumba, I wear spandex. :P

      Delete
    2. Removing your boots to put on spandex? In a phone booth perhaps? Are you *looks both ways and whispers* Zumbwoman?

      Delete
  11. ...let's just say, the IRS is about to conduct its first cookie audit.

    ...is claiming the word 'Zumba' is racist.

    ReplyDelete