Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Give That Mouse a Cookie

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Bing Has Revealed That the Top Internet Search Trend for 2013 Is…


Honorable Mention to blarg for his response:
HM blarg: election countdown timer

#5 gsmtiger: how can I get exempted from Obamacare?

#4 Gary.:… going to be revealed later in the week by Google.

#3 NO_MO_BAMA: that nobody uses Bing.

#2 can of spam: … “free healthcare”. (No results found.)

And my favorite straight lines of the day were from Oppo and walruskkkch:

Bing Has Revealed That the Top Internet Search Trend for 2013 Is…mice on cardboard parachutes

...so walruskkkch wrote a song in their honor:

Fighting rodents from the sky
fearless mice who jump and die
mice who mean just what they say
the brave mice of the Green cheese Beret

Tiny wings upon their chest
these are mice, Americas best
one hundred Mice will test today but
only three win the Green Cheese Beret
trained to live off natures land
trained in combat hand to hand
mice who fight by night and day
courage take from the Green Cheese Beret

(Chorus)
Tiny wings upon their chest
these are mice, Americas best
one hundred mice will test today
but only three win the Green Cheese Beret

Back at home a young mole waits
her Green Cheese Beret has his wake
he has died to kill those snakes
leaving her this last request
put tiny wings on my bucks chest
make him one of Americas best
he’ll be a mouse they’ll test one day
have him win the Green Cheese Beret

 Cooperation Cookies to 
Oppo and walruskkkch!

and today's best kiss uppers were can of spam, walruskkkch, Bob B., Steve H,  and Fred Key:

Bing Has Revealed That the Top Internet Search Trend for 2013 Is…

can of spam: “how do I get cookies from Anonymiss?” [You have to be *really* clever and *really* sweet. Kissing up doesn't hurt :)]

walruskkkch: Who is Anonymiss and Cookies.
How to report a missing cookie baker.
[Anonymiss? She's this amazing lady who really knows how to cook. Oh, and she bakes cookies, too :P ]

Bob B.: …what ever happened to Anonymiss and her fabulous cookies?
 [She left on a jet plane, gobbled turkey and pie, made book at the Iron Bowl, baked lotsa cookies, and then came back again. Did ya miss me???:) ]

Steve HAm I correct in assuming Anonymiss is snowed in and no one has gone to the Great White North to rescue her? C’mon people – think of the cookies!!!
[Awww :) Actually, I had left the GWN and was livin' it up in the Deep South. Now that I'm freezing again I hear I may need rescuing come Sunday night...Any of you guys like shoveling snow? *Think* of the cookies!!!]

Fred Key: What’s in these Anonymiss cookies? I feel kind of wehiffaWEHIOYJU3RWDJKBNCV
[Ok, so I kinda love this response. :) Made me laugh out loud. I think the answer is...*love* ]


Kiss up Cookies to can of spam,
walruskkkch, Bob B., Steve H,  and Fred Key!!
____________________

My favorite line from a heckuva long time ago was from Harvey:


A woman received one missed call and 48 texts from 'Satan'. They said..."no, really, if you like your soul, you can keep it."

Kiss Up Cookies to can of spam:

A woman received one missed call and 48 texts from 'Satan'. They said... "cookies are evil."

  
Cookies to Harvey
and Kiss Up Cookies to can of spam!

____________________

Here's a new line for you to try:


Harry Reid exempted some of his staff from Obamacare. What would you do for a Klondike Bar  Obamacare Exemption?

13 comments:

  1. Anything except work for that muck-dredge Harry Reid.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'd give all of my cookies to Walrus.

    ReplyDelete
  3. At this point, what difference does it make?

    (Of course I missed you - the net world is a much colder place without you and your cookies!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'd replace my entire music library with Yoko Ono albums.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'd commit myself to only write in
    Iambic pentameter for the next
    Three hundred and sixty five days.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Becoming a member of Congress, or working for one, are just too unpalatable to contemplate. So, that leaves:

    Join a Zumba class, in order to engage in an act of swivel disobedience.

    Join a pirate ship in a fast, ye maties.

    Join Oscar Madison in an Unger strike.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Let's see...become an Obama insider, gain the hatred of long-suffering Americans, become the moral equivalent of Harry Reid?...There is NOTHING I would do to get an Obamacare Exemption!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Well, duh! Intern on Capital Hill.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'd open a virtual kissing booth.

    No bearded guys, though. Sorry Harvey.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anything, short of eating a healthy diet, getting a job, giving up drugs and alcohol, paying taxes, rooting for the Yankees, wearing pants, having a cookie pried from my cold, dead hand (Half a cookie, maybe), stop murdering hobos for their old underwear or admitting that I may be a tad weak and pathetic.

    ReplyDelete
  11. ...eat a store bought cookie with walnuts.

    ReplyDelete