Thursday, December 5, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Not Exactly an Olive Branch

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

You Can Tell Hillary Clinton Is Gearing Up for a 2016 Presidential Run Because…

#5 Iowa Jim:. . . 2016 is an election year and she’s breathing.

#4 Oppo.:… John Roberts has approved a federal tax on all U.S. citizens who don’t have a female Democratic president.

#3 Gumbeaux: ...There was a leak that the UN is covertly disarming all imaginary Bosnian snipers.

#2 tinman: … she recently enquired about how many electoral votes she could get if she redeemed all of her State Department frequent flyer miles.

And my favorite straight lines of the day were from rodney dill:

You Can Tell Hillary Clinton Is Gearing Up for a 2016 Presidential Run Because…Obama gave her a cutting of his shrubbery… the blaming bush.

 Cookies to rodney dill!

and today's best kiss uppers were FormerHostage, walruskkkch and James:

You Can Tell Hillary Clinton Is Gearing Up for a 2016 Presidential Run Because…

FormerHostage: …she’s talking about baking cookies. [Hillary? She's probably making her famous dolci dei morti]

walruskkkch: Anonymiss is missing! It’s the cookies.
[I'm back! Did you miss me, walrus? ]

James: . . . she was turned down when she asked Anonymiss to bake cookies for a fund raiser.
 [She most certainly was!  My cookies are for *clever* people :P ]

Kiss up Cookies to FormerHostage,
walruskkkch and James!

My favorite line from a heckuva long time ago was from Oppo:

Harry Reid exempted some of his staff from Obamacare. What would you do for a Klondike Bar  Obamacare Exemption?
Join a Zumba class, in order to engage in an act of swivel disobedience. [Now I really wanna get Oppo an exemption! We're swiveling again tomorrow... :)]

Kiss Up Cookies to can of spam, Dohtimes, and Bob in Feenicks:

Harry Reid exempted some of his staff from Obamacare. What would you do for a Klondike Bar Obamacare Exemption?

can of spam:...I'd give all of my cookies to Walrus. [what a sacrifice!]

Dohtimes:...Anything, short of eating a healthy diet, getting a job, giving up drugs and alcohol, paying taxes, rooting for the Yankees, wearing pants, having a cookie pried from my cold, dead hand (Half a cookie, maybe), stop murdering hobos for their old underwear or admitting that I may be a tad weak and pathetic. :)

Bob in Feenicks: a store bought cookie with walnuts. [ICK! Bob must *really* want an exemption!]

Cookies to Oppo
and Kiss Up Cookies to can of spam,
Dohtimes and Bob in Feenicks!


Here's a new line for you to try:

Two Million Facebook, Twitter and Gmail passwords were stolen by hackers. What will they do with them?


  1. reenact James Earl Jones and Malcolm McDowell dialogs.

    1. Sidebar --

      What is up with that one?

      If ad effectiveness is measured by retention of the product or company name, this one fails with me.

      I may have seen that ad five times before I now instinctively turn the channel whenever it comes on; and honestly, for a million dollars, I could not tell you what they are advertising.

      I know everyone else could tell me, but in my case it's a total mental block because the commercial is so off-putting.

  2. Compile them into "Ten worst..." lists on Buzzfeed.

  3. Not sure what they WILL do with them, but I bet they COULD rearrange all 2 million of them and come up with a better law than Obamacare.

    The individual mandate section would be nothing but the word "password" with various letters either capitalized or replaced with numbers like "Pa55w0r4"

  4. held up as an example of what two million North Korean hackers can accomplish when facing a firing squad for failure.

  5. Try to marry them up with user names (not included). PSYCH !!!

  6. Did they get the human ones or the robot ones?

  7. ...not give them to the NSA, they already have them.

    ...I don't know, but there seems to be an unusual spike in the number of people following Obama on Twitter and Facebook lately... Hmmmm.

  8. I predict a sudden flood of users who "like", tweet support for, or sent emails to their entire address books touting the benefits of Obamacare.