O-Man the Totalitarian

In a recruiting email for his nonprofit advocacy group Organizing for Action, President Obama wrote, “I grew up loving comic books. Back in the day, I was pretty into Conan the Barbarian and Spiderman. Anyone who reads comics can tell you, every main character has an origin story — the fateful and usually unexpected sequence of events that made them who they are. The same goes for grassroots organizers.”

He went on to recount his early experiences as a community organizer in Chicago, and he invited his minions to share their own stories for a chance to meet the Organizer In Chief in a back alley backstage.

I noticed he left out the part where he was bitten by a radioactive squirrel, thereby gaining powers of mass distraction.

There have to be more interesting origin stories about some of our other imperial overlords: Joe Biden raised by bonobos? A genetically mutated Botox injection renders Nancy Pelosi’s brain impervious to reality?  Michelle Obama eats kale, gains enormous arm muscles and the compulsion to subjugate kids’ dietary habits?