Friday, July 27, 2012

Tactical Nuke: Friday, July 27, 2012

• Some guy who looks like Santa Claus got in trouble for looking like Santa Claus at Disney World, because people were asking to take pictures with him and stuff, even though he wasn't wearing a Santa Suit.

I didn't know Chris Kringle was owned by Disney. Those guys own everything!

• I guess if NBC/MSNBC can own Chris Tingle, ABC/Disney can own Chris Kringle.

• Some archeologists say they have located Captain Morgan's lost fleet at the mouth of the Chagres River.

So to answer Captain Jack Sparrow's famous question of "where's the rum gone?"...Panama.

• So the USDA tried to drum up support for some "Meat-Free Monday" silliness, citing cow farts as the leading cause of global cooling/warming/change/seasonal fluctuations.

Might I propose, instead, a national Hippie-Punching Monday, every Monday? It starts with eating a lot of meat, and then punching a hippie. Remember to account for bongo-wielding hippies by first punching down to de-bongo them, and then up into their face.


  1. Regarding Meat-free Mondays vs National Punch-a-Hippie Mondays...hippies smell worse than cow-farts.

    1. True, which is why one should wash their knuckles after punching a hippie.