Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: At a White House Staff Meeting, Obama Said...

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

At a White House staff meeting, Obama said...

#5 hwuu: ..."Intercepted!".

#4 FormerHostage: ..."I’m the President! It’s up to me to make the difficult decisions. I say pepperoni, black olives, and extra cheese".

#3 g: ..."Fore!!".

#2 Manolo: “We’ve got to strategize for after the election. What comes after a trillion?”.

And the best punchline goes to Andrew Felsher (The Guffy Conservative):

At a White House staff meeting, Obama said:

Barack Obama: “I’d like to begin this meeting, as usual, with a list of my accomplishments. One: I personally killed Osam-”
Valerie Jarret: “Harumph!”
Barack Obama: “-Bin Laden. Two: I swiftly surpassed Bush in golfing time. We were criticizing him for
not golfing enough, right?”
Joe Biden: [unintelligible string of profanity]
Barack Obama: “Joe, we talked about this. Put a quarter in the swear jar.”
Joe Biden: “I’m all out. I used up all this month’s allowance just trying to find this room.”
Barack Obama: “Then just take one from Pete.”
Pete Rouse: “But I need that money for lunch. You can’t have it.”
Barack Obama: “You’re racist.”
Pete Rouse: “…because I want to keep my money?”
Barack Obama: “Yes. Doing things with your money other than what I tell you to is racist.”
Pete Rouse: “…”
Barack Obama: “Now where was I? Ah, yes. Three: I earned a Nobel Peace Prize.”
Joe Wilson: “You lie!”
Barack Obama: “HOW DID YOU EVEN GET IN HERE?!! Security! … Security!”
Alyssa Mastromonaco: “You sent them all out for dog-hunting.”
Joe Wilson: “You mean for hunting dogs?”
Alyssa Mastromonaco: “Did I stutter?!
Joe WIlson: “That’s disgusting.”
Barack Obama: “I WILL KILL YOU!
Nancy-Ann DeParle: “Oh, no.”
David Plouffe: “Oh, no!”
Robert Gibbs: “Oh, no!
Kool-Aid Man: “Oh, yeah!”
Joe Biden: “What the ($&# *$(# (@#&*#& ($&* is going on?!!”
Leonard Nimoy: “I believe you liberals have been denying reality for so long, you’ve collectively lost the ability to distinguish between fact and fiction. It’s only logical.”
Zombie Reagan: “Now put a dollar in the swear jar, Joe. And the rest of you get out. I’m taking over.”
Americans: “Huzzah!” 

Congratulations Andrew!

Now here is a line for you guys to play with:

Obama is proposing a new American Flag design...


  1. A big red flag with a yellow hammer & sickle, and if you don't salute it, you have to pay a tax.

  2. In the upper left corner, 57 yellow stars on a red field. The rest of the flag is black showing a bright green caricature of Saul Alinsky mooning the founding fathers.

  3. it features an empty-wallet-bladed windmill amid a field of mangled bald eagles

  4. It debuted back in March:

    1. I'd actually forgotten about that. Like forgetting a bad nightmare.

  5. ...featuring the slogan "Give in to your hope. And give me your change." below the logo of the New Order.

  6. Valarie Jarett suggestet white but that is already taken by France