Monday, October 15, 2012

State Department Leaks: Osama's Diary Continued

Still liberating.
September 13, 2007

Dear Diary,

There was a knock at the door today, and it was a couple of Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses or Born Agains. I can’t tell.  What can I say?  All people of the book look the same to me, except maybe Jews.  Normally, I would have shooed the infidels away and shot my guards for letting them get this close, but we were getting low on hostages, so I let them in.

Just as they were handing me some of their literature of the Great Satan, I heard the call to prayer, so I spread out my rug and hit the deck. All the while, they were giggling and yucking it up.

Boy, but Allah must have pretty poor coverage on his network. Just one tower in Mecca?

Better off just subscribing to Verizon. Can you hear me now, Allah? Can you hear me now, Allah? Nope, just a few more degrees toward Mecca. Can you hear me now?

And what’s with this five calls a day plan. Allah’s such a cheapskate. Our God has an unlimited anytime anywhere plan. Free roaming and universal coverage. Giggle, chortle, hahahaha!

Yuck it up, fellas. Real funny. Pair of stupid hacks! Speaking of hacks, once prayers were done, two hacks with my scimitar let them know just how comedic was their genius. No loss. Can’t imagine anyone would pay ransom on those two retards. Still, they were less annoying than Achmedinejad.

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