Wednesday, May 1, 2013

I Love Global Warming

I just read that the next bad thing about Global Warming is that it will increase prostitution.  But wait, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  My AGW model predicts the following positive benefits from increased prostitution.

·         Increased supply and competition will bring the prices down.  You won’t need to be a highly paid politician to afford Ashley Dupre.
·         With the increased supply, Democratic lawmakers will be too busy to bother governing anymore, which is good for everybody.
·         Menendez will no longer have to waste tax payer money flying to the third world to get cheap prostitutes.
·         Barney Frank will finally be able to expand his prostitution ring to include women.
·         Increased heroin and meth demand to supply the new gaggles of prostitutes will cause an economic boom in Mexico creating jobs that will draw illegal immigrants back to their homeland.
·         More prostitutes mean more pimps, which will create new jobs in the dilapidated inner cities.
·         With the new crop of second tier, less attractive escorts, the paper bag industry will thrive like never before.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again.  Is there nothing Global Warming doesn’t make better?  Here’s to increasing carbon emissions until the globe is once more a tropical paradise from pole to pole.

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