Monday, May 20, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Anybody Know Where I Can Find Fresh Cracked Right Wing Nuts?

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Joe Biden Took Out a Second Mortgage. What’s He Need the Money For?

#5 tanstaafl :species reassignment surgery.

#4 Apostic : Lawsuits from shotgunned door-to-door salesmen.

#3 D***cat : Same reason everyone else will have to get a second mortgage – ObamaCare.

#2 Oppo : To pay off the first mortgage, duh.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from FredKey:

Joe Biden Took Out a Second Mortgage. What’s He Need the Money For?   Investment in the Anonymiss Cookie Factory. He heard that the Right Wing Nut cookies were excellent.

Right Wing Nut COOKIES to FredKey!

So the "Anonymiss Cookie Factory" has been experimenting lately.  These are Maple Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies. They are NOT healthy, in case you were wondering.  :)  They turned out yummy, but not enough bacon flavor for my liking. Very sweet, with a little hint of saltiness...

Next time I'm trying ones that have bacon in them, as well as sprinkled in the maple glaze that goes over the top. That should help increase the bacon flavor.

Any suggestions?  Any taste testing volunteers?? :)

Lots of great comments on the NP line this time. :)  The ones I liked best were:

When he heard nearly one in five US children suffer from a mental disorder, President Obama...

#3 Harvey: ...said "well, there's 4 people who will never work for MY administration."

#2 A Guy Named Rob: ...announced that 1 out of 5 children will now pay a penalty for not being born with a pre-existing condition that required Obamacare to control, er assist them

My favorite response was from Anonymous:

When he heard nearly one in five US children suffer from a mental disorder, President Obama... Adamantly denied that he was a child at the same time as Holder, Pelosi, Hillary, and Harry.

COOKIES to Anonymous!

You should really tell us your name, ya know. :)

Here's a new line for you to try:

What's the newest option available on the 2014 Mercedes S-Class?


  1. It comes with a "get out of IRS audit free" card.

  2. Bumper sticker that lets other drivers know that your kid can invade France any time he wants to.

  3. A flameproof shield for parking in "little Mogadishu" or certain neighborhoods in France.

  4. Let’s just look at the extras on this fabulous car! Wire-wheel spoke fenders and two-way sneeze wind vents, star-studded mud guard, sponge-coated edible steering column, chrome fender dents and factory air conditioned air from our fully factory-equipped air conditioned factory! It’s a beautiful car, friends, with doors to match! Birch’s Blacklist says this car was stolen but for you, friends, a complete price.

  5. The Presidential version, instead of coming with an ejection seat, comes with a passenger side 'Election' seat, (which for some unexplained reason is much more popular in Japan.)

  6. No need for windshield wipers — it's equipped with ObomStar. Just push a button and two Marines with umbrellas pop up.

    And with the plausible deniability option, it never needs washing. You could drive it through an unguarded Middle Eastern consula...uh...diplomatic post and come out smelling like a rose.

  7. ...The right to introduce yourself last name first, then your full name.

    ...Automatic buoyancy devices, in case you drive off a bridge. -It comes standard if your last name is Kennedy.

  8. Automatic perfume atomizer. The "automatic" part is triggered when farts are detected. This is a fact.

    btw, is that a Snow White dress you've got on there, Anonymiss? 'cause that would be awesome. :)

    1. It certainly is, Fly. :)

      Thanks for being the first one to notice :D