Thursday, June 6, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - 34 is Older than I Thought

Harvey over at IMAO has a new straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Frank J. turns 34 today. How should he celebrate his birthday?

#5 walruskkkch : Leave no hippie unpunched.

#4 FredKey: Create birthday cake out of 10 pounds of bacon; consume...or beg Anonymiss for some birthday cookies.   [I enjoy begging. Which kind is your favorite, Frank? :)]

#3 can of spam : He has children. He’s not allowed to celebrate his own birthday any more except to receive priceless artwork from his children and give them an excuse to eat cake.

#2 Dohtimes: With a twenty-one gun salute, saving time for cake by saluting all twenty one of his guns at the same time.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Jimmy :

Frank J. turns 34 today. How should he celebrate his birthday?


Be careful, Frank, don’t hurt yourself. We understand you’re getting old now and the brain is shot. But you don’t want to push that old body of yours too hard. It’s all you’ve got left. So, no mistakes. mKay? Have a seat, Frank, and have some cake. Frank? Frank, sit down before you fall down! Fraaaaank!

Frank appears to be asleep on his feet.

 Choco Chip PB Cookies to Jimmy!

You should come and read Brashful's funny song parody: Great Tunes: Right Wing Pigeons. Cookies to arik!


My favorite nuke the punchline was from Rodney Dill:

When he learned Japan was testing a "floating" 310mph bullet train, Joe Biden......he immediately called on Congress to commission battleships that ride the rail, to counter the Chinese 'floating' train threat.

Cookies to Rodney Dill!

Here's a new line for you to try:


  1. By replacing her "smart girl" glasses with Urkel's "did I do that?" glasses to make her look less conniving.

  2. ...What difference does it make? keeping Bill restrained like Hannibal Lecter around women until after the election.

  3. ... if they raise enough, they may be able to brainwash enough people into forgetting that she dangerously incompetent and borderline psychotic.

    (Of course, that is the "new normal" anyway...)

  4. They can fund an archeological expedition to recover "ol' crusty", the pantsuit, intact and have it cleaned and restored for 4-8 more years.

  5. They'll provide enough hookers for Bill to keep him happy and under control.

  6. 50,000 gallons of whitewash.

  7. Helping to shore up her cankles.

  8. They will offer up access to their necks, so that Hillary can maintain her youthful looks, not revealing the blood-sucking crone she truly is.

  9. With three little words: Paper or plastic?

    By pointing out that she shaves her upper lip every day, unlike the original Hitler.

    Promoting her only two notable qualities of acting like a Bond villain and looking like a Dick Tracy villain.