Friday, August 2, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Wooly Wardrobe Woes

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Scientists Are Attempting to Resurrect the Wooly Mammoth from DNA Samples. Their Follow-Up Project…


#5 FormerHostage: Kelly LeBrock.

#4 rodney dill: …building a giant wooden Skrat

#3 tinman… a Star Trek-type transporter buffer that can filter up to eight years of Obama from the American economy.

#2 Oppo: … will be to blame global warming when it dies off again, lonely and alone.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Steve H: 

Scientists Are Attempting to Resurrect the Wooly Mammoth from DNA Samples. Their Follow-Up Project…getting him into a proper uniform for his new Airport Security Frisking Person job. [I have no idea why, but that line made me laugh out loud :) ]

Cookies to Steve H!

Cooperation cookies to walruskkch and Apostic for their combined Groucho Marx bit: 

Scientists Are Attempting to Resurrect the Wooly Mammoth from DNA Samples. Their Follow-Up Project…moving the animals to Alabama to harvest their Ivory because everyone knows in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.

That’s ilrelephant ;)


Cooperation Cookies to
walruskkkch and Apostic!

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I bet you guys think I'm always in a good mood. I get to work with all of these amazing guys every day: I'm the luckiest lady around! I did have an off moment, though. You can read about it at Snow White Loses It...  (shhhhhh...just don't tell anybody else!) 

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My favorite NP punchlines:



President Obama will be a guest on 'The Tonight Show' August 6th. He is preparing...

#3 Rodney Dill: ...to bring along Pelosi and Reid to continue to perform his stupid pet tricks... Whaddya mean that's Letterman!?"

#2 Apostic: ...to be adored and worshipped, as he is during every other interview. (He might be in for a bit of a shock....)

My favorite line was from Oppo:

President Obama will be a guest on 'The Tonight Show' August 6th. He is preparing... Jay Leno's spontaneous questions for him. ("Go to the transcript, Candy . . . I mean, Jay!")
.

Toffee Trifle to Oppo!

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Here's a new line for you to try:



Pelosi presented President Obama with a dark chocolate cake for his birthday. Other presents...

10 comments:

  1. ...will include the "gift" of having Michelle Obama slap the cake out of Barack's hand every time he tries to take a bite.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Other 'presents.' The response from Obama.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Some watermelon ice cream.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ...will have to be opened to see what's in them.


    ...will maintain the theme of darkness, like the prospects for Obamacare and the economy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ...a not so dark chocolate cake that looks less like Trayvon's cake.

    ...a handy guide to identify the pieces of Pelosi that fell off onto the cake.

    ...a written request from John McCain for him to not eat the nut topping.

    ...weekend of golf with OJ so they can look for the Benghazi terrorists.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ... arrived from Michelle (separate vacations);

    Chief Justice Roberts (the Obamacare ruling) (it was a few months early);

    Vladimir Putin (a bag of Skittles and a hoodie);

    Queen Elizabeth (a UK-format DVD of her speeches);

    and the royal baby (a pacifier)

    ReplyDelete
  7. ..an apology for choosing a racist cake flavor.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ...a Spice-flavored cake, so the dark chocolate cake has something to pound half to death.

    ReplyDelete
  9. ...included the traditional gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

    ReplyDelete