Thursday, December 12, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Move Over Mr. Do-Right

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Canada Plans to Claim the North Pole for Itself. They Will Also Claim…

 Crooner Cookies to rodney dill!

#5 walruskkkch:...Frostbite falls and Whatsamatter U.

#4 FormerHostage:… the Island of Misfit Toys.

#3 Da**Cat:…the South Pole and everything in between the two. They’ll sober up in a week or so.

#2 Bob in Feenicks:…Americans are a bunch of Shatner-stealing Mexico-touchers.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Bob B:

Canada Plans to Claim the North Pole for Itself. They Will Also Claim…that Santa Claus is actually the commandant for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police – Reindeer Division. 

 Cookies to Bob B and
Crooner Cookies to rodney dill!

and today's best kiss uppers were walruskkkch and FormerHostage:

Canada Plans to Claim the North Pole for Itself. They Will Also Claim…

walruskkkch: ...Anonymiss cookies! 
[I'd like to see them try... :P]

FormerHostage: …that they make the best cookies in the world.
[Yet MORE fighting words. Who will defend the superiority of Anonymiss's cookies, I wonder? :) ]

Kiss Up Cookies to 
walruskkkch & FormerHostage
____________________

My favorite line yesterday was from Harvey:


Anonymiss is really busy these days and is having difficulty finding time to judge the straight line. What should she do? Ask for volunteer "guest judges" who can submit their picks to Anonymiss (or Harvey, if Anonymiss is busy) to post for them. [I may have to try that. Anybody willing to be a "guest judge"?]
  
Cookies to Harvey!
____________________

Here's a new line for you to try:


The State Department just bought a million dollar sculpture by an Irish American. Other necessary expenditures...

14 comments:

  1. ...include paying ME $1million to name this stupid thing.

    I'm going with a nice Irish name: "Pile O'Rocks"

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...include a 17 trillion dollar commode for the Treasury Department.

    ...include a billion dollar crate to store it in.

    ...include a million dollars for giving President Obama his own signing lessons, since he is his own best translator, and the deaf can't appreciate his brilliance now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My technological ineptitude (it's legendary!) is overmatched by my foolhardiness, so, if it becomes time to dig out the barrel scraper, I could give this "guest judging" thing a whirl.

      Delete
  3. Other necessary expenditures:

    Hookers and Booze ... oh, sorry, that's another website.

    Penicillin. Lots and lots of penicillin. Especially after all the Hookers and Booze.

    At this point, what difference does it make?

    A baker's dozen of centrifuges for our new best buds, the Iranians. The promise to use them only for peaceful purposes.

    A clue for everyone in the State Department who believes Iran.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hookers and blow. Only a disreputable County politician would use the money for booze.

      Delete
  4. Portable Barricades to keep the rabble away from their rubble in the event of a 'shutdown'.

    Burt

    ReplyDelete
  5. ... can also be paid for by cutting back on security at embassies, consulates, and missions.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The State Department just bought a million dollar sculpture by an Irish American. Other necessary expenditures...Several millions of dollars to one Walrus for the strictly appropriate purposes of some such that are important in some fashion for the benefit of our great Republic.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ...50 million dollars to Matt Groening for his masterpiece The Moaning Lisa, from his Yellow Period, late 20th and early 20 first centuries.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Other necessary expenditures...
    ... enough green beer to make it all make sense.

    (I volunteer, btw. Why not get 4 or 5 to each take a day of the week, we narrow it down to 5, send them to you and you decide the order?)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'd certainly vote for Harvey, Bob B and Steve H. as judges. They know funny.

    (I personally wouldn't want to serve as judge, or jury. That only leaves one thing.)

    ReplyDelete
  10. $500,000 for food for Biden's pet rock.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and you feed Biden's rock by placing the food in either of his ears.

      Delete