Saturday, August 30, 2014

Some Things To Think About On National Bacon Day

Technically it's called International Bacon Day, (see here) but it was originally conceived in Massachusetts in 2000, by an American.  So that makes it an American event.  Besides America is the only nation in history cool enough to have a National Bacon Day.    

Muslims don't like bacon, or Christianity.  Never invite this man to a bacon eating contest at a Baptist church on Easter Sunday.

Arkansas Razorbacks finished 2nd last year in the SEC behind Alabama.  There are Muslim students at U of Ark, but they tell the folks back home they're piano players in a whorehouse.

Human DNA is around 96% identical to pig DNA.  This explains some people's behavior.  In some individuals, the percentage may be slightly higher.

Bacon has always had a very good PR agent.  It's no accident that bacon is listed first in BLT sandwiches.

Thousands of years ago cavemen knew about bacon, but proof of evolution lies in the fact that only just recently people discovered bacon/chocolate ice cream.

In the future bacon will be the primary form of currency.  Bacon is one of the only foods that you can put in your wallet.

Dogs are man's best friend mainly because we control the worlds bacon supply.

Always keep bacon in your first aid kit.  It makes a lousy tourniquet, but you'll have something to eat while you're waiting for the ambulance.

Injured Guy, no bacon

Injured Guy with bacon

Porky Pig never got anywhere with Petunia.  Things were going fine until he took her to an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet and she recognized her Uncle Floyd in the thing next to the scrambled eggs.


Sir Francis Bacon became famous mainly for inventing the bacon hat.  It didn't go over too well in Muslim countries.

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