Saturday, June 23, 2012

Nerf the White Class

Yeah, down with Whitey!

Apparently, some group in Duluth, Minnesota felt it was necessary to combat rampant racism in their town, and decided to fight back by using billboards telling white people how racist they all are. It makes sense; all white people, as is well known and documented, are seething racists. They're also all blind to the racism problem in Duluth and elsewhere, because if you are white, then you can't see racism.

See, the problem is that all white people keep viewing other races as stereotypes. Not all black people like chicken, for instance. Not all Latinos are from Mexico, or even speak Spanish. Not all Asians know martial arts. Stereotypes do not define a race of people. Unfortunately, all white people can't understand this. They are all born with the inability to see people of other races for what they truly are: unique individuals.

If all white people were unique individuals with different views, opinions, and experiences as are people in other races, then perhaps they wouldn't all be so racist. But as we all know, white people are all like carbon copies of each other. They all look the same, dress the same, act the same, and can't play basketball or dance.

These are well known scientific™ facts, so what can be done about white people all being so racist by nature? If it was just that white people are white, maybe spray-on tans would help them see the plight of other races. But it must be genetic or something. That is why the Unfair Campaign in Duluth used genetically-targeted billboards. It is their belief that these billboards will allow white people to understand how absolutely racist they all are by making them feel guilty about being white.

And they should feel guilty. They all gamed the system by choosing to be white in the first place prior to birth, kind of like when you play an online computer game and choose the class that has all the best powers and stuff. So, like everyone chooses to be that class. That is why there are so many white people in America, and everyone else are called "minorities", which is clearly racist.

The white class really needs to be hit with the nerf bat, to make it more fair.

Feel free to comment below. Please keep it civil and respect my no-cussin' policy.

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