I’m fine with gay marriage as long as both chicks are hot

So I’m trying to find a way to blend this topic in to the recent Chick-Fil-A controversy.  I was disheartened to learn that the Muppets won’t be part of CFA anymore, and even more disheartened when I realized that I have no CFA’s around me, and that they had a promotion with the Muppets.  I live in Michigan; we have one CFA and it’s about an hour away from where I live.  I know what you’re thinking with this:  “Obviously you’re not a big enough fan of CFA, Chris”.  “Obviously since you don’t ever go to CFA you let them down and showed why you’re single and forever alone”.  “It’s your refusal to commit to something”. 

Honestly though it’s because I’m lazy and no one else understands the awesomeness of CFA due to there only being the 1 in Michigan. 

I really do want to open a CFA franchise now.

So I’m not sure where I was going with all that, but it kind of makes me angry that there is a large protest starting up against them.  I understand when people protest groups or people that they don’t like, or are holding them down, but really, the only people CFA is holding down is chickens.  Last time I looked. them ain’t people.  They’re chickens, and completely different from people.

For one, chickens can’t vote.  Look at the Constitution if you don’t believe me.  No where in that thing does it give voting rights to chickens.  My second problem is maybe they should slow down a bit.  Sure chickens are female, but were not sure what end of the political spectrum they're on.  They could be protesting chicken rights only to find out, chickens are pretty conservative.  My third problem with all this is its just stupid.

Look, CFA gives money to anti-gay groups.  I understand that, but lots of people give money to anti-gay groups.  I’m all for gay marriage, just as long as it’s not forced upon the church.  That’s my only caveat.  Gays can get gay married all day long; just leave the churches out of it.  Just leave chick-fil-A alone, they have the most delicious sandwiches ever.

To be serious for one paragraph here, it’s a matter of letting people do what people want, it hurts no one.  Let them.  Just keep it to secular practices of marriage, and any church that wants to let them.

So after that, of course I’m a bigot.  I welcome your input.