Saturday, July 7, 2012

Reader Submission: Coded Racism

From  Walkingdead:
Coded Racism, a Beginners Primer

Ladies and gentlemen we need to face the facts, as conservatives our coded racism is being foiled at every turn by those brilliantly brilliant lefty's. Time and again we are being shown how wrong we are by using it. I mean when Newt Gingrich (obviously a white guy with 'rich' being part of his last name) said that our lord and savior Barack Obama was the food stamp president, he obviously means all black people are on food stamps. Its no use trying to hide behind all those facts, like more white people are on food stamps than black people. That's what liberals do: they see through facts. You can't get one fact past them. They are so good at seeing past facts that they sometimes invent their own.

Case in point: in this video, my future ex-wife Rachel Maddow shows video clips of Mitt Romney and directly after misquotes him.  How great is that? She shows the clip of him saying something, and then reads back something he didn't say. That, is journalism 101 right there. Find the facts, then throw them out and say something completely different. Keep fighting the good fight Rach, I'll have pancakes for you in the morning.

Any way back to my main point.

 I wish it weren’t true about all our hidden racism, but it is. So I propose new coded racism, so that a new generation of conservatives can enjoy all the hate I have been enjoying for 33 and a half years now.

#1 What you say: “I don't know, that spending is going to add a lot to the debt/deficit. I don’t know if  it's sustainable."
      What you mean:  "Are minorities going to suffer if we don’t spend this money? 'Cuz I'm on board with that."

#2  What you say: "I think our time in Iraq and Afghanistan has come to a close. It's time we let them police their own countries."
      What you mean:  "I think we killed enough brown people. Lets move on to a different color to kill now."

#3  What you say: "I have no problem with immigrants, I have them in my family. I just think with all the social programs we have people need to come in the right way, and pay in to the tax system."
       What you mean: "The more I can marginalize immigrants the cheaper my produce becomes, and the sweeter the fruit is when its picked by the hands of a Mexican who softened them with his own tears."

These are just a few examples of new coded racism. Its really important we keep this language of ours “evolving” so as not tip our hand before the 2012 election. If we all do our part, we can make sure to subvert the vote enough to champion in a new era of Mitt Romney and our technicolor race boat.

That actually sounds like a great musical. I'm going to run along and write that one now.

1 comment:

  1. I get the feeling that this writer (totally not me) is very handsome. I can tell by the words he puts down on things.