Reader Submission: How to Argue with a Liberal Part 1

Here is part one of a three part series by Walkingdead. Enjoy:

How to Win an Argument with a Liberal (Part 1)

I’ve been in plenty of arguments with liberals over the years. I pretty much have their tactics down to a science, so I now present to you: HOW TO WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH A LIBERAL!

The two things that dominate liberals the most are #1 emotion, and #2 logic. I understand that this may seem counter intuitive, or even oxymoronic, but it’s true. The difference being conservatives are dominated by #1 logic and #2 emotion. A conservative looks at a problem and says “what is the right way to handle this”. A liberal looks at the same problem and, well, before breaking down in to a pool of sweat, tears, and patchouli oil says, “it’s the right thing to do”.

Right there we have our impasse. The conservative looks at options, he tries to figure things out. The conservative see’s that there may be more than one solution, that maybe; just maybe he may be wrong. After that he goes to emotion, and then he puts the two together and forms an opinion. The liberal, on the other hand, seething with rage from some perceived slight for a faceless corporation jumps up on a table and screams at the top of his lungs until someone else gets tired of listening to him yell and they give in to his demands. Then like a baby who just got his bottle he takes a nap.

So you ask yourself, “what does this have to do with arguing with liberals, Chris”?

And I’m all like, “B**** shut yo mouth”!  Any way where was I?  Oh yeah.

All liberal arguments boil down to 4 things:

#1 XXXXXX company made XXXXX dollars last year and shipped XXXX jobs overseas. They are terrible and need to be stopped.

#2 Wanda Staduchi is the mother of 6 kids, through no fault of her own. She spends $3,242 every month in diapers, and spit rags. She needs help. Some months she can’t even afford her 3 cans of Skoal per week habit.

#3 the rich don’t pay their fair share. They need to pitch in.

#4 AAAAAAHHHHHHHH GEORGE BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right there we have 4 emotional arguments.  It is your job as the conservative to decipher their emotional state, and fire back with logic.  In part 2 that’s exactly what we are going to do.