Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: Nancy Pelosi's Looking Better These Days

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

Nancy Pelosi's looking better these days...

As this was the best collection of punchlines ever, in no particular order:

FormerHostage: ...since she insists on standing next to Helen Thomas.

FormerHostage: ...thanks to XTREME Beer Goggles™ by Ronco!

Jimmy: ...since she had the skewers removed.

hwuu: ...I have to give to Obama on this one, Senate Burkas were a great idea.

hwuu: ...She must be using a new varnish.

Marc: ...she finally molted. 

phreshone: ...“surprised” is the new hot look for fall fashion

HokieGomer: ...Nancy Pelosi’s looking better these days, proof that purfume and lipstick can indeed help a pig.

IronicStompin: ...is the last thing I remember saying before the bartender cut me off and called me a cab.

Bob in Feenicks: ...Did I say looking? I meant *SEEING* better. Her new eyeglass prescription allows her to finally read what is in Obamacare.

frogmouth: ...It would be almost impossible for her to look WORSE

Nate: ...thanks to the skill of her new undertaker she hired to do her makeup.

London Bridge: ...but somebody else made that happen.

Paul: ...But I’ve been drinking more.

And the best punchline goes to hwuu:

Nancy Pelosi's looking better these days. They say if you want to look thin hang out with fat people. I guess it is also true that if you don’t want to look ancient, leathery, and power mad, hang out with Harry Reid.

Congratulations hwuu! And to everyone as well!

Now here's a line for you guys to fool around with:

Obama is handling his first real crises...

(Click for an example of an Obama crises...)


  1. "I don't know, Michelle, *do* I want fries with this?"

    Filling out address forwarding forms from the DC Post Office.

  2. but he can't find them with both hands

  3. ...fortunately for him it's not 03:00 A.M.


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  5. His daughters joined the Young Republicans club at school.

  6. He's confused about whether he is a Marxist, Socialist or Communist.

  7. The Pope is visiting the White House and the only person available to receive him is Joe Biden... Finish the back nine or not?

    Bo is missing and Sasha and Malia are worried... Do I have enough mouthwash to cover up my dog breath?