Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: President Obama Introduces Future of Automobiles

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

President Obama proudly introduces the future of automobiles...

#5 Iowa Jim: ...They will be made by the US government, cost twice the average family income, average one major failure per thousand miles, and provide all the excitement that the Yugo did. 

#4 plentyobailouts: ...its called the Steam-Volt. It runs on the steam created from the fire. 

#3 Lactose the Intolerant: ...powered by imagination.

#2 frogmouth: ...They will also be your house.

And the best punchline goes to hadsil: 

President Obama proudly introduces the future of automobiles:

There was Matchbox. There was Hot Wheels. Now there’s Bo’s!
It gets 50 lies to the gallon.
Plenty of room in the trunk for your golf clubs or political baggage you don’t want.
Made in Canada.
However, once you drive over 250,000 miles you have to pay a higher percentage price for gasoline.
When you drive you will have to pay an Eastwood tax for every empty seat.

Congratulations hadsil!

Now here's a line for you guys to meddle with:

At the DNC, Bill Clinton...


  1. was disappointed to discover that none of the closet doors locked from the inside.

  2. . . . was quite happy Hillary wasn't there.

    . . . was outside smoking a cigar.

    . . . greeted people by saying "Miss me yet?"

  3. ...keeps disappearing with Sandra Fluke. trying to convince people Hillary isn't part of the administration as the first step in a 2016 run for president. being chased around by secret service agents desperately trying to get him to put his trousers back on before his speech. totally, totally, wasted.

  4. Lactose the IntolerantSeptember 5, 2012 at 11:30 PM

    keeps offering Janet Napolitano a cuban.

    tutored Barak on the proper ways to lie.

    keeps getting Obama to himself and whispers in his ear, "I'm talking wife swapping Barak."

    keeps cornering Michelle and asking her if she'd like an evening with the first real black President.

    was seen accepting bribes from Helen Thomas and Nancy Pelosi regarding his judging of them in the wet t-shirt contest.

  5. ...introduced to Sandra Fluke to a great new drink he invented -the Roofie Colada.

  6. ... did not sleep with that woman.

  7. is looking forward to trench fighting in the War on Women; wink wink, nudge nudge.

  8. convinced obama to cancel the 22nd amendment by presidential decree and appoint bill in his place

  9. was not shocked as Chris Matthews removed his blue dress and had Obama underwear on.