Monday, October 22, 2012

I For One Welcome Our Future Seeing Overlords.

Recently a CBS affiliate out of Arizona put up a graphic calling the race for Barack (don't call me Hussein) Obama. There is only one explanation for this, but the explanation has three possibilities.

Possibility #1
The local CBS affiliate has the power to see into the future and accidentally published the results a bit too early.

Likeliness -low
everyone knows that time flows as a river and all we could see, assuming we could see into the future is a probable scenario brought to life by current events, and at anytime something that Romney, Obama, or some other outside force could change the outcome now that we know it... it's basic quantum mechanics.

So if you thought that one, you're dumb... so stupid and dumb.

Possibility #2
They are the liberal media and were just running a test with their preferred results and it accidentally made it to air.

Likeliness -pretty high
I didn't read the story because I don't care at all and I'm just looking for something to write about, but I assume it was just some sort of test or joke that ended up making it onto TV by mistake.

Possibility #3
Everything is predestined and we have no free will, also CBS Arizona knows it.

Likeliness -most
This is the one that scares me. What if we have no free will? What if everything we do is meaningless? What if everything that ever happened or will happen has been put into an unbreakable chain of events that can never be changed or altered? What if Obama is going to be president again and it doesn't matter?

Why should I bother voting? Crap... I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to think or say.

I think right now I just need someone to hold me and tell me everything is gonna be OK.


  1. I like possibility #2...with the added motivation that if some clueless undecided voter hears it, he may want to vote for Obama to feel good about himself and his ability to pick a winner. The liberal media doesn't care why he votes for Obama as long as he does.

    VOTE walkingdead. Just do it.

    And I know the feeling. :(

  2. I haven't seen any chocolate or heard any begging at all. I'm so depressed.

    1. I did plenty of begging in my 20's... I just accept it now.

    2. Ummmmm...I don't get it. You never begged me to write for this blog in your 20's. I'm pretty sure I would have remembered.

    3. oh, I thought we were talking about a different kind of begging... sorry.

      you should... you should give it a shot.

    4. We apply the same metric to everyone here. Submit something, and if it is really good, we'll move to the begging part.

      If there is any chocolate involved, Walkingdead will have to buy it.

      I'm strapped for cash after buying all of these gold-plated diamonds.

    5. Let me know what you think. I'm thinking I could forgo chocolate for the diamonds. They'd look better on me than walkingdead or lactose, so you should just give me their share.