Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: Democrat Latest Vote Effort

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

The Democrats' latest get-out-the-vote effort...

#5 D***Cat: ...goes like this: “Nice dog you got there. Be a shame if someone ate it.”

#4 FormerHostage: ...if he wins Madonna WON’T take off the rest of her clothes.

#3 Apostic: ...involves a man with a horsedrawn cart calling, “Bring out your dead.”

#2 CarolyntheMommy: ...visiting the morgue to make sure all occupants vote.

And the best punchline goes to Son of Bob

The Democrats' latest get-out-the-vote effort: Someday you’ll be voting democrat anyway. Might as well start while you’re still alive so you can get a free phone. 

Congratulations Son of Bob!


The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was Mrs. Campbell:

To hone his foreign policy skills, Obama asked for a binder of foreigners.

Congratulations Mrs. Campbell!


Now here's a line for you guys to play with:

Obama's new role for the United States Navy...


  1. ... target practice for the Chinese Navy

  2. A backdrop for the newest incarnation of propaganda-spewing Village People, singing about the imaginary virtues of Obama's socialist policies.

  3. Always the innovator, he's going to build some planes that you can land ships on. Using green technology.

  4. Salvaging the jets that used biofuel.

  5. ... Playing "Battleship" with the real thing

  6. When he bows to foreign leaders, they shoot over it.

  7. Everyone sing!
    Where can you find pleasure, search the world for treasure,
    learn science, technology?
    Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
    on the land or on the sea?
    Where can you learn to fly, play in sports or skindive,
    study oceanography?
    Sign up for the big band or sit in the grand stand
    when your team and others meet.
    In the Navy, yes, you can sail the seven seas.
    In the Navy, yes, you can put your mind at ease.
    In the Navy, come on now people, make a stand.
    In the Navy, can't you see we need a hand.
    In the Navy, come on, protect the motherland.
    In the Navy, come on and join your fellow, man.
    In the Navy, come on, people, and make a stand.
    In the Navy, in the Navy.

    1. by "put your mind at ease" they mean be bored to tears and almost to the point of paranoia on missions.

      Wake up, eat crap, 6 hours on watch, 6 hours of training and maintenance, 6 hours in the rack.

      Wake up...etc

      89 days, no sunlight, no fresh air, engine room smells like trash because that's where they store it when disposing trash makes too much noise. You're down to a choice between instant oatmeal you smuggled on board and whatever that stuff is that came from a can in the galley. Or stale saltine crackers. Those can keep you going for 30 minutes at least. Time enough for the O2 high to wear off from wakeups and the 02-dep headache to settle in for the next 2 hours.

      But that's what Navy bean is for...to make you realize there is something worse in life than an oxygen-deprivation headache and empty belly, and it comes in a black liquid form that is called coffee...but in no way resembles anything close to coffee.

      In the Navy...

  8. ... assisting the marines on duty at the White House with helping him pack come January.

    1. Oh I would have loved that detail.

      "You mean your bowling balls weren't supposed to go into the same box as your fine china? My bad...sir."

  9. Was to hang right there, just as it should, in his closet right next to all of his United States red.

  10. ...Michelle's personal fleet of yachts. Happy anniversary, Baby!

  11. The U.S. Navy will now just be extra's for Obama's propaganda films.

    He did kill Bin Laden you know.

    He killed him so hard.

  12. ... painting the fleet red: gray is soooooooo not fetch.

  13. ...is something to make out of all the melted down bayonets we just found out we have.