Sunday, November 4, 2012

October Surprise Election Countdown: 2

For the 13th Surprise of October Obama Gave to Me:
This is Kermit the Frog reporting for Sesame Street News. Tragedy was narrowly averted today when, in a very fortuitous circumstance, Elmo dropped by Big Bird’s nest to discover Big Bird, Snufflupagus and Cookie Monster each nearly dead from a drug overdose.  Doctors report they are all stable and are expected to make a full recovery. Crack-laced cookies, choom brownies, Pop Rocks mixed with angel dust and a gift card were found at the scene.  The gift card read: "No hard feelings, love Mitt and Ann."
A nearly lucid Cookie Monster had the following to say about the events, “Me not know there drugs in cookies. If me know me would just say no. Me think it just funny tasting toffee.  Me love cookies.  But me no love drugs.  Drugs bad.  Mitt bad.”
In a shocking turn of events, however, in previously unseen footage mysteriously edited from yesterday’s show, an addled and apparently nervous Barack Obama can be clearly observed dropping off a package at Big Bird’s crib and stumbling away. 
The White House has yet to comment on the incident.

No comments:

Post a Comment