Friday, December 7, 2012

Nuke the Punchline: Charlie Brown Christmas Reboot

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

In the new 'reboot' version of 'A Charlie Brown Christmas'...

#6 D***Cat: ...Obama invites Snoopy to be the “guest of honor” at the White House Christmas dinner.

#5 Greg: ...Linus is hauled away in chains for quoting Scripture on school grounds.

#4 Bob in Feenicks: ...Pigpen finds his calling with ‘Occupy Wall Street.

#3 Dohtimes: ...Linus uses a Big Bird toy to show the police where Harry Reid touched him.

#2 Manolo: ...In the new ‘reboot’ version of ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’…feeling depressed, Charlie Brown visits Lucy Van Pelt at her affordable psychiatry booth, only to learn that under the Affordable Care Act her rates have gone up from a nickel to $35.63 cents to cover the cartoon characters that refuse to get health insurance, and that Lucy must disclose to the government that he’s being treated for a mental health issue and isn’t allowed to possess firearms. That night, BAFTE agents storm Charlie’s house to look for guns and “inadvertently” shoot Snoopy and Woodstock as menacing pets.

And the best punchline goes to zzyx:

In the new 'reboot' version of 'A Charlie Brown Christmas', Charlie Brown converts to Islam and beheads Lucy. 

Congratulations zzyx!


The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was Bob in Feenicks

The Obama administration is proposing to replace the Constitution with something less CONservative and more PROgressive: the PROstitution!

Congratulations Bob!

[Seriously man, take a day off, or people will get suspicious]


Now here's a line for you guys to row over:

Joe Biden came up with an idea to avoid this fiscal cliff thing...


  1. ...but then he heard an ice cream truck outside and forgot all about it

  2. move the whole country to the bottom of the ocean

  3. renaming it, "The Socialist Slide"

  4. ...cancel Obama wearing a Speedo down in Acapulco, and Part B: look up metaphor and fiscal on Wikipedia (after thanking that voice in his ear that sounds like Paul Ryan).

  5. into the fiscal wall instead.

  6. filling it in with Obama's crap.