Friday, January 11, 2013

Nuke the Punchline: David Bowie Video

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, and so it is time to pick the winners of the last one:

The most surprising moment in the new David Bowie video...

#5 Jack: ...was when Bowie’s dessicated head—sewn onto a knit-pillow body—had to get the train from Potzdamer platz. I never knew it could do that.

#4 Dohtimes: when Major Tom finally gets ground control to return his call they are all speaking Farsi.

#3 D***Cat: ...the Depends product placement.

#2 Stephen: ...when Shaggy ripped off Bowie’s mask to reveal that he was Tom the Carnival Operator all along.

And the best punchline goes to HokieGomer:

The most surprising moment in the new David Bowie video was halfway through, you get Rickrolled. 

('Cause that's pretty close to the truth...)

Congratulations Hokie!


The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was from Bob in Feenicks:

Bill Clinton won "Father of the Year" for quantity not quality.

Congratulations Bob!


Now here's a line for you guys to fool around with:

Now that he's gone after pain killers in hospitals, NYC Mayor Bloomberg...


  1. ...will replace all the hospital mattresses with beds of nails.

  2. ...decrees that donuts can no longer be sold by the "baker's dozen". "They're unhealthy and besides, it's discriminatory to other professions."

  3. ... will be sought out by an angry mob of women in labor.

    ... will be sought out by an angry mob of husbands whose wives are in labor.

  4. ...shook a prescription bottle at the camera an muttered "baby want some candy?"

  5. ...started pushing a cart up Broadway yelling "Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!"

    ...was arrested by Kathleen Sebelius for violating ObamaCare provisions.

    ...had a grievance filed against him by the Death Panels for creating too much work for them.

  6. looking to bring back the Eighteenth Amendment.

  7. has also outlawed having pain in a hospital. Now it makes sense, doesn't it?

  8. ...banned ribbed condoms for their pleasure enhancement properties.

    ...headed to the burn ward at Bellevue to laugh at his mom who he had set on fire that morning.

    ...upped the screaming tax by 80%.

    ...still has a standing invitation to kiss Flo's grits.

  9. Regarding the Bowie video (alt title: “Anum LXVI”), the whole artistic work struck me as an homage to his late friend Andy Warhol – the endless display of a copyright warning overlaying the "static image of active static" typifies the "illusion of movement" motif so prevalent in late-Warholian works.

    I usually consider the “lack of music” genre to be more reminiscent of Samuel Beckett than either of Warhol or Bowie, for the obvious reason that with latter duo the experience of an absence of sonic stimuli must perforce be the result of an active choice (an aggressive "determinative man vs. his environment" election) and not the innate experiential helplessness that encapsulates the nature of a man who has clicked on a YouTube link (a passive "temporal man vs. his environment" lack of action, given that we are for a moment ignoring as disruptive the entire oeuvre of the personal volume control), but it is great to see the man still branching out at this advanced age.

    Overall I found this most recent calving from the great Bowiean glacier to be a multi-layered commentary on the deeply cynical and legalistic soul of the modern aging musician.

    Rating: 4 Campbell Soup Cans.

    1. I forgot to work the word “transcendent” in there somewhere. Sorry.