Friday, April 26, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Homeless Right to Bare Arms

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Listed in California's new "Homeless Bill of Rights"...

#5 c64wood : … U CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER

#4 can of spam: a plate of Anonymiss' cookies.  [They wish. They'll have to pry unearned cookies out of my cold, dead hands]

#3 Mark L.: ...You have the right to sing the blues. You have the right to cable TV.

#2 tanstaafl:…will soon apply to the whole state.

And my favorite straight line list of the day was from a brilliant new-to-me reader, JeffersonFan... (awesome job, btw)

Listed in California's new "Homeless Bill of Rights"...
1. Freedom to speak loudly and incoherently to imaginary companions.
2. Right to bare arms, legs, feet and any other body part desired.
3. Prohibits homeless from being moved from their park bench or street corner in times of war.
4. No homeless person can have his/her brown paper bag, shopping cart, or backpack searched without a warrant.
5. No homeless person will be made to suffer through Double Jeopardy! or Judge Judy without due process of law.
6. All homeless people have a right to speedy social services, Obamaphones, and foodstamps.
7. When two homeless people have a dispute over more than $20 a jury of their peers will decide the outcome with dice, rock-paper-scissors or spin the bottle in the brown paper bag.
8. Excessive showering or cruel and unusual taunts towards homeless persons about foul body odor will not be tolerated.
9. Any rights, real or imaginary, not listed here are still valid.
10. Powers not delegated by the homeless to their imaginary alien overlord are reserved for the unwashed masses.

COOKIES to JeffersonFan!


You should read The Last Progressive by spingeraz.  Cookies to my Newbie!!  It is a wonderful post. He really is doing a great job here. :)  (what kind of cookies do you want?)

I love how many responses we've been getting for the NP Nuke the Punchline!  You guys are amazing!!  The best responses for Nuking Politics' straight line:

George W. Bush's latest painting...

#3 Harvey:... is a hand-drawn version of his famous "Miss Me Yet?" billboard:

#2 can of spam: ... really shouldn't be shown in public, but let it be said for the record that everything indeed is bigger in Texas.

The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was from Oppo: 

George W. Bush's latest painting...was in oil, of course.

COOKIES to Oppo!

Now here's a line for you guys to try to impress me:

When she heard about California's proposed "penny-per-ounce" tax, Michelle...


  1. ...thought "looks like Barry's Choom budget will be going up a dime a day."

  2. ...demanded her butt get an exemption.

  3. ... advised California to beware the Grammar Hammer, because of its improper sin tax.

    ... said this shouldn't be national news, since it's a low-cal issue.

  4. ... asked Chief Justice Roberts if citizens could be taxed for *not* buying sodas. You probably won't believe this, but he said yes.

  5. ...said the tax should only be a cookie per Wookie.

  6. ...said tons of fun wasn't gonna be much fun.

  7. ... took out a mortgage on the White House to cover her share for the meal she downs after lecturing school kids on eating alfalfa sprouts.