Monday, April 15, 2013

Nuke the Punchline- You Bagpipe Hating Racist, You

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

Why did the Department of Home Security order a bagpipe?

#5 can of spam: A brazen attempt to recruit the Loch Ness Monster to patrol the coastline.

#4 rodney dill: Cause if Napolitano was gonna look like a man in a dress, she might as well sound like one too.

#3 Laurence Blount: It was a joke. "Heck, Ron. They'll never approve this expense. OH CRAP! They did!"

#2 Jimmy: Because with 1.6 Billion bullets, someone has to be ready to play "Amazing Grace".

And my favorite straight line of the day was from frogmouth:

Why did the Department of Home Security order a bagpipe? That you even question this administration's motives in anything they do is irrefutable proof that you, sir, are a racist. 

Cookies to frogmouth! (Okay. So I decided we needed to give you SOMETHING for being so clever.  And...well....cookies are the bacon of desserts.  :)


Since I'm JUDGE ALMIGHTY (or Judge Dreddilocks) at NP now, I decided I'd start judging the daily NP posts. Let's see how my cohorts feel about a little friendly competition. :)

My favorite post was Dr. Brown meet Dr. Razeqi from Lactose the Intolerant.

Cookies to Lactose!


The best punchline for the last Nuking Politics straight line was from : MrsCampbell.

Since Chris Matthews compared her to Eisenhower, Hillary...called him a sexist.

Cookies to MrsCampbell!


Now here's a line for you guys to play with:

Now that Iran built a time machine, Obama...


  1. ...congratulated the Muslims on inventing the clock.

  2. Can skip ahead to his 5th term as Emperor and admire the final stages of his face becoming the only one on Mt. Rushmore.

  3. looking forward to when he will finally be governing - oops, he missed it!

  4. I'm afraid I must disagree: Bacon is the bacon of desserts.

  5. - blamed Bush
    - ordered Biden to keep saying, 'Tick Tock Tick Tock.'
    - weaponized it and put it on a drone.
    - sent a whole crapload of bagpipes back to the start of Arab Spring.
    - planned on four more years.

  6. Bacon maple donuts are the bacon of breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, supper, late night snack and dessert.

  7. expecting them to finally get out of the stone age. looking forward to meeting his hero, Karl Marx.

    ...warned them not to step on any butterflies, otherwise they might be forced to deal with President Fred Thompson instead of him.