Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Carpenter's Hammered

Harvey over at IMAO has another straight line of the day up, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

What happened to Carpenter?   

[lots of awesome lines today, btw. Hard to choose!]

#10 Oppo: Became a meme-ory.

#9 Mike in OH: He just came out as the first openly gay athlete in a major US sport! Geez, where have you people been?

#8 zzyzx: Drafted by the NY Jets as their replacement for Tim Tebow as the designated bench warmer.

#7 CarolyntheMommy: … he’s hanging out with Burmashave, Marko, ussjimmycarter, and all of Harvey’s other alternate personalities that he’s keeping temporarily tucked away.

#6 Genghis Khen : His 90 year old mother can’t afford internet service anymore since evil libertarians are taking away her social security. He vows to one day move out of her basement.

#5 Dohtimes : Harvey shouldn’t have paid him until he finished remodeling the kitchen, now he’ll never show up.

#4 Eric Praline: You d*** thieving Libertarian scum stole his soul, now he’s trapped in limbo.

#3 jw: it seems like “only yesterday” he was “on top of the world”. i suspect that he is wanting “yesterday once more”.

#2 bunkerhillbilly:…After storming the podium at the White House Correspondents Dinner and yelling YGDFTYLTATSOTE in a purple-faced rage, Obama, admiring his deranged pluck, chose him as Jay Carney’s immediate successor.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from a rodney dill.

What happened to Carpenter? …he got nailed or hammered… I don’t know which.

COOKIES to rodney dill!
Double cookies to Rodney...because he also mentioned that Carpenter got tired of being taunted and is now building a giant wooden badger. :)

I am so excited for the two new daily posts at Nuking Politics! (Ok, so they're nearly daily. Or daily-ish)

At 9 am EST we have Keln's BRILLIANT Tactical Nukes which share the day's headlines in a clever funny way (I love these)...

and at 11 am EST we have Classic Nukes which are some of our old FAVORITES.

Come and enjoy!  Cookies to Keln and...well all my dwarves. I love my job. :)


Thanks for your comments on NP's Nuke the Punchline.  You guys are the best :)  My favorite response for Nuking Politics' straight line was from can of spam.

Inspired by a realtor giving his employees a raise for getting a tattoo, Obama...... had the business shut down. If they can afford to give raises, he clearly isn't finished doing his job.

COOKIES to can of spam!

Now here's a line for you guys to try to impress me:

Now that there's a National Gay Athlete Hall of Fame, what's next?


  1. I don't know, but the induction ceremony will be proof enough that the honoree is gay or not.

    Probably a burial at Arlington National Cemetery for the first active football player to come out in the shower room of the Baltimore Ravens.

  2. The San Francisco 49ers will change their name to the Poofters.

    1. Who will ironically draft a tight end named Bruce from the University of Woolamaloo.

  3. ...people will recognize the 'greatness' of a bunch of mediocre athletes just because they are gay.

  4. The New York Yankees will change their name to the Yankmes.

  5. don't even want to know what the Green Bay Packers are going to change their name to.

  6. -Players from various teams began to metriculate their way into the Fall of Fame.

    -In the NFL, the position of Tight End became the premier positon over that of Wide Receiver.

    -The Entire Chicago Bears organization was inducted for being the first team to have only fielded a team of Wide Receivers since their inception.

    The Vikings changed their name to the Viqueens.

    1. (that should be 'matriculate' in the first one.)

  7. -Players from various teams began to metriculate their way into the Hall of Fame.
    (corrected -- though maybe just a Freudian slip)

  8. (...and thanks for the double cookies)

    1. You're welcome! You're around here so much I'm thinking of making you an honorary dwarf. Ummm. Help me think of a name... :)

  9. ...can a National Metrosexual Athelete Hall of Fame be far behind?

  10. ...non-Gay atheletes sued for inclusion too as they were being discriminated against for being 'Hetrosexually Challenged'

  11. I'm not sure what the brouhaha is all about...

    While not exactly "family friendly" due to the avalanche of gay jokes (sorry, Keln! Delete this if you must...), I'm sure most of us remember the classic "Men on Football" sketch by the "In Living Color" gang which aired during Superbowl halftime sometime back in ancient history:

  12. "What's Next?"

    The Athlete's Foot Fetish Hall of Fame?

    The LBGTPGA?