Friday, June 21, 2013

Nuke the Punchline - Hardly Working

Harvey over at IMAO has posted a new straight line of the day, so it is time to choose the winners of the last one:

The Best Thing About an Obamaphone…

#5 blarg:  …it’s a basic human right.         [are you quoting from "Confessions of a Shopaholic"? :)]

#4 Jimmy…is they allow gang members to better communicate to keep inner cities safe.

#3 Oppo: … Flip-up teleprompter.

#2 Matt Musson: … the Chinese made it and the NSA monitors it. So, you get free 3-way calling no matter who you dial.

And my favorite straight line of the day was from Bob in Feenicks:

The Best Thing About an Obamaphone...…it actually works some of the time, unlike the people who own them.

 Cookies to Bob in Feenicks!

Now that I'm soon to be Her Infinite Majesty Empress Kitten the FirstI can make whatever kinds of cookies I want.  :)  Do you still want Chocolate Chip, Bob?

Tried out my new baby today. Wow. She bakes like a dream :)

Isn't she just the SWEETEST little thing?

Also, my Unshaven Overlord has given me *pretty much* power over everything I want. So you all may wanna kiss up to me. "P

In fact, I've decided to award "Empress Kitten's Kiss Up Cookies" to the most gratuitous and obsequious line:

Today's winner is blarg for his line:

The best thing about an Obamaphone…you will NEVER be awarded a cookie by Anonymiss if you submit your punchline of the day from one.

True. :)
"Empress Kitten's Kiss Up Cookies" to blarg!


Another fun Springeraz contest!!  Go try and win some more of my cookies with your clever contradictory phrases at "Honest Politicians" and Other Oxymorons  :) Cookies to Newbie for the great idea!


You guys had some great lines today. My favorites for:

A California school is to be renamed after Michelle Obama. Next to be renamed...

#3 Bob in Feenicks: ...the San Andreas Fault to Bush's Fault.

#2 Dohtimes: ...will be our ground troops. After Obama finishes arming the terrorists they will have their own Mecca-nized infantry.

And my favorite line today was from Harvey::

A California school is to be renamed after Michelle Obama. Next to be renamed...Nuking Politics will become Her Infinite Majesty Empress Kitten the First's Palace of Splendor and Cookie Emporium.  {I'll have to get my dwarves right on that :) }

Cookies to Harvey!

What kind of cookies are your favorite, my Hirsute Highness? :)


Here's a new line for you to try:

Hillary says women should step it up and "[subject] themselves to the political process, which is very difficult". Even more difficult...


  1. ...accomplishing even the simplest task in what used to be a free country without some sort of bureaucratic colonoscopy from one of those "political processors".

  2. reciting the Scout oath without messing up the Scout sign, and without choking on "honor" and "duty"

  3. being able to look at yourself in the mirror the morning after subjecting yourself to the "political process."

  4. ...trying to stop Biden from trying to lick his elbows.

  5. ...putting lipstick on a pig and...oops, putting lipstick and a wig on Ed McMahon's corpse and thinking it won't smell like a Democrat.

  6. picking out which pantsuit goes with a particular coverup.

  7. ...keeping your husband satisfied, eh? Hillary?