Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A Pithy Blog About Benghazi. Unnonymiss Said.

Sometimes it gets a little hectic around here in the Nuking Politics salt mines, with the stress and the yelling and the deadlines and all, and all the while Unnonymiss is pacing back and forth behind us, muttering about production values and being pithy and such.  (Pithy is one of her favorite words). I was off shift, trying to get some sleep in the squad bay where she keeps us,  And in walks Unnonymiss.  I could tell it was her, she sort of hisses when she breathes, and in the darkness her eyes glowed red.  I could see in the darkness that Keln was right behind her, with kind of a sheepish look on his face.  I mean, Keln is a great guy and all, but one thing you don't do around here is go against Unnonymiss.  I pretended to be asleep, but it was no good.  She walked right up to me and stood there for a couple of seconds, hissing.  "Get up" she says, "and make me a blog.  Something about Benghazi.  Make it short and pithy, and none of that fantasy nonsense you always stick in there".

I wasn't scheduled to go back on shift for another two hours, and I was exhausted, but that counted for nothing with Unnonymiss, so I got up, and walked out, headed for the blogging floor upstairs.  Keln stood behind her, wringing his hands in the darkness,    As I passed him, he looked at the floor and said to me "….dude…I'm really…"  Unnonymiss cut him off with a nasty look, and I knew better than to respond.  Unnecessary talking is not allowed here at NP.

On the way upstairs, I walked past the kitchen, and Anonymiss was in there, as usual, making cookies.  I've never figured out when she sleeps.  She's always either up on the blogging floor, or in the kitchen making cookies.  Anyway, as I walked past her, she slipped me one, a fresh bacon/macadamia/coconut cookie.  It would be the only thing I would eat for 12 hours.  I slipped it inside my blogging uniform and went upstairs.

Arik and Les were up there, typing away feverishly.  Arik, not looking up, whispered "Is she…"  "No"  I said, "I think she's still downstairs."

So I sat there for a few seconds, trying to gather my thoughts, and decided to write something about Colonel Bristol, a key witness to the events surrounding the Benghazi attack.  

He was in command of US Special Forces in Northern Africa, (AFRICOMM), when the attack occurred on September 11, 2012, and was in direct contact with the State Department while the attack was going on.  He will testify that he was ordered to stand down and do nothing.  

When Darryl Issa attempted to contact him to invite him to testify about what happened on the ground that night, and the administration's handling of it, he was told by "top administration officials", (read Obama, DOD and the State Dept), that  Colonel Bristol had retired, could not be located, and therefore his testimony would not be available.

Now apparently the Defense Department through spokesman Major Rober Firman has stated that Col. Bristol "will be allowed to meet with House and Senate members and their staff".  Major Firman stated that the Col was retired, and had not been invited by congress to testify.  Both statements are false.  His retirement is not in effect until Aug 1 of this year, and he had been invited, through the DoD, to testify by both houses of congress on several occasions.  

I believe the Colonel's testimony will expose facts the administration has tried to conceal.  What Darryl Issa does with that information waits to be seen.  What Obama comes up with to distract our attention from it is anybody's guess.

I need to get this posted and move on.  I hope Unnonymiss likes it.  You don't want to get on her bad side. 


  1. Oh sweet'd better be careful, Newbie. If Unny sees this...???

  2. "Unnecessary talking is not allowed here at NP."

    Now, see, here's where you screwed up. I was fortunate enough to get in WAY before Unnonymiss was hired and/or equipped with all that surplus riot gear. Therefore, I guess anticipating what was to come, Keln gave me as part of my new-hire benefits package that "be as wordy as you want to be, whenever you wish, provided you don't forget the 'insert page break' tool" license card, which as you know I keep framed in bullet-proof glass and chained to my desk to guard against sticky fingers, and I SWEAR to one and all that thing is more than worth its weight in gold.

    Oh, and decent Benghazi summary, Springeraz, thanks! You know I don't trust the MSM to tell the whole story, so we're lucky to have you!

    Now, do you have my homework for Friday finished like we talked about, are you planning on starring in Unnonymiss's upcoming "DIY Waterboarding Kit 9000" unboxing video?

    1. She did mutter something about a video. Unnonymiss has always insisted that waterboarding us makes us pithier. I didn't know they had released the Series 9000 WB Kit. I've been using an old Black & Decker model, and you have to be really careful not to get it wet. Last time I used it, it shorted out, and I wound up unconscious for about four hours. At least I got some sleep.

    2. So THAT's what happened! And here I've been giving you credit for being clever ever since! Oh well, still and all, we were jealous of you getting to take a nap.

      I wasn't going to ask, but since you brought it up - was it the sirens or the defibrillator that woke you up?

  3. Very good.

    What? An extra dollop of gruel? Tonight we dine!