President Obama ordered federal employees to report the suspicious actions of their colleagues. These include…
#5 Writer: … failing to have been aborted.
#4 can of spam: … open heterosexual activity.
#3 Comrade Chairman Obama : - Having imao or nukingpolitics in their browsing history / Hippy Punching [those are interchangeable, right?]
#2 Apostic :...having a questionalbe record of birth, using the same phrases over and over again (such as “Let me be clear”), not being able to speak coherently unless reading out loud, having close associates who appear to be gangsters from Chicago, regularly changing the subject when asked dificult questions, not showing for regular meetings with staff, and having a past history of drug use and still acting like a dope.
And my favorite straight line of the day was from walruskkkch:
President Obama ordered federal employees to report the suspicious actions of their colleagues. These include…
breathing.
breeding.
believing.
Note: Kiss up cookies to blarg for his line "baking cookies" and walruskkkch for his line "liking bacon and cookies".
Apparently, I'm gonna be in big trouble :D
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| Cookies to walruskkkch and blarg! |
I'm still out an oven, so if you're wondering where these wonderful cookies came from...
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So...I'm still in the dungeon plotting my escape plans...I keep thinking that tomorrow will be the day I really make progress...and then things like THIS show up [that Keln is sneaky]...and there go all my good intentions. Maybe I can come up with something over the weekend.
If you're a bit bored of reading about my plight, you should check out these kids. They didn't just sit back when they didn't like their lot. :D
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You can share with us :)
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Here's a new line for you to try:
My favorite NP punchlines:
Due to the unrest in Egypt, gas prices are expected to surge. President Obama's solution...
#3 FormerHostage: ...Solution? It's a feature!
#2 can of spam:...tap into Congress as a renewable source of hot air.
My favorite line was from Oppo:
Due to the unrest in Egypt, gas prices are expected to surge. President Obama's solution... Unleaded from Behind.
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| Cookies to Oppo! |
You can share with us :)
Here's a new line for you to try:
Now that Napolitano is stepping down, replacing her...
...will be the Piranha Brothers:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXjrMU0jpAE
...will be a step up!
ReplyDeleteA bag of hammers.
ReplyDelete...the slightly less likely to be peed on by a dog because it looks so much like a fire hydrant, a fire hydrant.
ReplyDelete... will be random passengers from an airplane -- in order to ensure "the system works" again.
ReplyDeletedelusions of grandeur will be difficult, but Obama is up to the task.
ReplyDeleteYou brought iy on yourself. I warned about wimmens being allowed access to such ovens/ranges. Cats and dogs living together? Just a forfend of the end times. Repent now or never get real coolies, baked by men, real bakers.
ReplyDeleteCarpenter? Is that you?
DeleteI would like to get a bumper sticker that reads: "Carpenter? Is that you?"
ReplyDeleteOnly IMAO readers would know what it means, but think of the smile it would bring to their faces!
...
The only other use I can think of for that phrase is as Harvey's last words....
Dinsdale? Dinsdale?
Delete...will be an inanimate carbon rod.
ReplyDelete...will be the first female Homeland Security Secretary.
...are illegal immigrants... Doing the jobs the American government won't do.